How to Tell if Someone’s Jealous of You: Six Ways to Identify Your Haters

See It for What It Is

On our journey to find our most authentic selves, we will likely come across others who may have varying ways of responding to us. As you grow, and learn and move closer to who you really are, there are some people in your life who may show resistance to those changes.

As you increase your respect for yourself, you may allow less disrespect from others. Comments, looks, reactions that you once allowed or even accepted, may no longer be able to exist around you. As you continue to put in the work and show up for yourself, you may become more confident and less reliant on the opinions of others for validation.

People in your life who have become accustomed to responding to your insecurities, on any level, may not like if that type of energy is taken away – particularly if they gain their own security from it.

As you get to know yourself, you also get to know who is meant to be with you on your journey, and who is not. 

It’s All Part of the Process

Unfortunately, and fortunately, it’s just a part of the process. Some people that are currently in your life may not align with who you are now, and who you are becoming – and that’s okay. We look at these people and we feel gratitude for everything they have taught us and the help they’ve provided to get us to this point. This might be a family member who only has negative comments to make about your weight, or a childhood friend who can only talk about not having enough money. You can still be grateful for the love these people have provided you, and still monitor the amount of time you spend with them and limit that time if you need to. 

There are some people in our lives that need to be identified and responded to accordingly. If you’re progressing in your life, on your spiritual, emotional, financial, health journey etc. you’ll find that there are folks, or someone in particular, who is simply not supportive. In this case, it’s important that you see what’s happening for what it is. 

I’m talking about your haters. 

Sometimes, they’re friends in disguise, but if you have some of those folks in your life – they will always weed themselves out. 

There are an endless array of reasons for someone to not be supportive of this glorious you that you are creating. As mentioned earlier, those who like for you to be small, will want you to stay small. Those who feed their ego from your need for validation will want to keep that energy source. Those who make themselves feel better by making you feel worse, will not want to lose that well of validation for themselves. 

It’s a Reflection of Them

I’m no expert, but in my experience, a lot of these people are what I would identify as jealous. Of course, just because someone feels threatened by you doesn’t necessarily mean they are jealous, and all of the above examples don’t exactly mean jealousy, but jealousy isn’t far behind someone who treats you that way. And let’s be real, some people are just jealous. 

Let me be very clear, when someone wants to see you fail, when they have a problem with your progress, when they feel threatened by your success – that has nothing to do with you. The way someone perceives you, how they feel, think and respond, has nothing to do with you. 

This type of energy, however, is felt, and in case you need a bit of a guide on how to deal with it, I’ve prepared six qualities that you may identify in someone who may be jealous of you.

Personally, I used to think that someone being jealous of me was a bad thing, then I finally learned that it was only a ‘bad’ thing for the other person. I appreciate that type of feedback here and there because it means I’m doing something right. When someone outwardly portrays jealous characteristics, it means there is something about you that they actually like, and you are making them aware of where they perceive lack in their own lives. 

In other words, you have something they don’t. Is that necessarily a good or bad thing? Go ahead and feel yourself for a minute, but then come back and remember that your journey is personal, and remember the boundaries between yourself and that person. 

Everyone struggles with their own inner turmoil. The reality is, many people don’t know how to identify their emotions, let alone respond to them effectively.

For folks who don’t understand their emotions, or are hurting from a past trauma, seeing other people in a position that they wish to be in may serve as a reminder of where they are. It will likely cause some unwanted feelings to arise. They may see someone who is happy, and be reminded of their own sadness. They may see someone who is gaining wealth, and be reminded of their financial lack – instead of being happy or inspired, they may become angry, jealous and want to see that person brought back down to ‘their level’. If they were to achieve this, they would be reminded that you are not actually superior to them. For people who are demonstrating this type of mindset, seeing someone fall makes them feel better about themselves.

6 Signs That Someone is Jealous of You:

1. They Pay a Lot of Attention to You.

Someone who is jealous of you, actually admires you. Whether it’s a personality trait or physical characteristic – there is something about you that they like. They may admire your strong work ethic to go to the gym everyday to stay in shape, they may admire your sense of humor, or the home you live in. Instead of learning from you – they take action from a place of lack and want to take those characteristics from you. At the very least, if they see these characteristics taken from you, it will make them feel better about themselves.

2. They Don’t Acknowledge Your Successes.

If someone is jealous of you, they may not want to acknowledge anything positive in your life or give you any sort of congratulations. This action would again make them more aware of what they perceive to lack, or what they may assume is unavailable to them. 

3. They Laugh a Little Too Hard if You Make a Mistake.

Again, your haters see all the good things about you and it makes them feel insecure. For someone who wants to see you fail (only so they can feel better about themselves), if you do happen to make a mistake, they will be sure to bring it to your attention. In doing so, this makes them feel like you aren’t any ‘better than’ them.  

4. They are Super Reactive Around You.

If you know what to look for you can see it every time. This person will be dysregulated and reactive around you. They may perceive things that you say as something meant to offend, they may twist your words to appear as if you said something you didn’t, they may appear upset with you for seemingly no reason. If you are working in a group or on a project with them, they may find fault in your efforts or try to one up you.

5. They May Mimic You.

I’ll say it again, as this is the main theme here – if someone is a hater, that means you have qualities that they wish they had for themselves. These people actually admire you. Take notice of things such as specific items of clothing, words you like to use; how you express yourself, even the way you walk – your haters might mimic those things in your life hoping to gain the feelings they are lacking. Yes, my friend, we’re taking it back to middle school and yes – they may ‘copy you’.

6. They May Make Outward Attempts to Try to Hurt You.

One way that someone may respond to feelings of jealousy is to lash out. Hurt people hurt people. In other words, if someone feels threatened by you, they may try to hurt you in order to feel better about themselves.

Remember Your Boundaries

Being on the receiving end of jealousy can evoke a lot of different emotions. It is important that you remember your boundaries and where your own responsibility lies. You are responsible for you, how you act, feel, think and respond. You are not responsible for those things in other people. As mentioned earlier, how someone reacts is a reflection of how they are feeling – so don’t take it personally. Be encouraged and maybe even a little flattered that someone admires you. Keep going on your journey and continue to focus on your emotional and spiritual health, and you will attract the right people into your life. It’s true, haters will do what haters do, and it’s your job to stay true to yourself and your process.