Originally posted November 12, 2025 – Updated October 8, 2026 You can spend years learning how to love someone else, understanding what makes them tick, figuring out what upsets them, and adjusting how you communicate to make the relationship work. But how much time have you spent learning those same things about yourself? Do you know what makes you feel safe? What causes you to shut down? Why certain situations bring out reactions you don’t understand? Do you know what you need, what you want, and what happens when you repeatedly ignore those things? The longest relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. Yet it’s often…
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Introduction: Why Do We Feel the Need to Respond to Everything? How do you respond to instances where you feel that you may have been disrespected, or overlooked? Sometimes triggering events, no matter how small – make us feel that we need to do something about it. Maybe someone took your seat after you got up, maybe you heard someone say something that upset you. Many times, we have this automatic pull to explain, or defend ourselves. We might feel the need to correct the other person, so we can ensure they have the right view of us. We may be triggered to prove ourselves. Yet, if we take just…
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Introduction: What If You Could Want Something Without Needing It? Have you ever wanted something so badly that it consumed you? Sometimes we can get caught up, and maybe even lose ourselves in things like a relationship, a job opportunity, or someone’s approval. We might find ourselves setting a goal, and then obsessing over that outcome; more specifically what we want that outcome to be. We may even become consumed by a version of our lives that we believe will finally make us happy, the idea of arriving. If you look back, you may notice that the more you wanted it, the more anxious you became. Oftentimes, the more pressure…
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The One Person You’re Always With Relationships require trust. Think about the people in your life that you trust the most. Why do you trust them? Usually it’s because of a combination of things. People who we view as trustworthy show up for us, they keep their word and they support us. These people make us feel safe, and they are consistent in our lives. Now, let’s turn that mirror on ourselves. Ask yourself: Do you offer yourself that same level of trust? Do you show up for yourself, rain or shine? Are you dedicated to your personal growth and happiness? The longest relationship you will ever have is the…
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Introduction: The Moment You Realize You Matter Too How often have you ignored your own needs because you were worried about how someone else would feel? We are so busy, all of us – we’ve got things to do, lists a mile long, and people depending on us. In fact, sometimes we are taught to prioritize things like being helpful, and ensuring we are available when someone needs us. We do everything we can to avoid disappointing people, or being difficult, or making anyone uncomfortable. Over time, some people become so focused on being there for everyone else that they forget to ask: Am I there for myself? Choosing yourself…
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What If the Thing You Lost Was Making Room for Something Better? Have you ever experienced something that felt devastating in the moment? A breakup. The loss of a job. A rejection. A missed opportunity. A dream that never came to fruition. When life doesn’t go according to plan, it’s easy to fall into self-blame. We tell ourselves stories like: Our minds naturally search for explanations when we’re hurting, and often the easiest explanation is to assume we’ve done something wrong. But what if there’s more to the story? Sometimes we can’t see the full picture while we’re standing in the middle of it. We only see the closed door,…
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Introduction: The Moment You Realize You’ve Changed Have you ever looked in the mirror and realized you don’t recognize yourself – not because you’re lost, but because you’ve grown? Transformation can happen in all kinds of ways. A lot of the time, it happens quietly and slowly, and then one day you realize the transformation has already taken place. Before anyone else notices that the way you think has changed, that you’re more in touch with your values, more aligned with your boundaries, or that your relationship with yourself has shifted, you feel all of that happening. And eventually, the outside starts reflecting the inside. Before I started my healing…
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Introduction: The Voice We Often Ignore Have you ever had the feeling that something was or wasn’t right? Maybe you met your partner and just knew they were the one for you. On the flip side, maybe you met someone and immediately got the feeling that you should avoid that person. Maybe you had a strange urge to merge into a different lane, and at that exact moment the car next to you moved into the space you had just created. Once, I was on a road trip and we pulled off to the side of the road to rest. Something told me to leave the car running, so I…
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When You Ask Everyone Else What to Do Have you ever asked so many people for advice that you ended up feeling further away from the answer than when you started? When I was growing up, I doubted myself quite a bit. Whenever it came to making a decision, or feeling at peace with a decision I had made – I would become anxious and fearful. Rather than taking a moment to pause and tune in with myself, I would immediately ask those around me for their opinion. I wanted to get validation for my actions from external sources, thinking maybe they knew something (about my situation) or that I…
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The Empty Plate I recently went out to dinner for my friend’s birthday. A small group of us got together, we had been looking forward to celebrating with her ever since the plans were made. She was so excited to go to dinner at a really cute little restaurant in her area. At dinner, we all had a really nice time. The conversation was great, the food was delicious and the service was good as well. At the end of our enjoyable dinner, however, we were met with an unexpected moment. The server, who had been perfectly fine all evening, brought over an empty plate with a single candle on…
