When Your Center Moves Back to You Eventually, there comes a point in our healing when we realize that the things happening outside of ourselves are much less important than what’s going on, on the inside. When we detach and begin focusing on our own well-being first, our center moves back to us. In my last post on healthy detachment – Healthy Detachment – What It Is (and What It Isn’t) – we explored what healthy detachment actually means and how it creates emotional space for what’s important to you. What’s interesting is what begins to change once you start putting that understanding into practice in real life. Your internal…
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The Moment You Realize You’re Waiting I overheard a conversation recently where two people were talking about someone, and referred to them as a “pick me girl.” They were talking about someone who seemingly goes out of their way to get attention and clearly makes her presence known. For some of us, people like that can be a little much, but I was curious to understand further. It got me thinking about the term “pick me girl.” To say someone is that type of person, we are essentially saying they are someone who raises their hand enthusiastically in hopes of being chosen – hence the term “pick me.” Why would…
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The Strange Fear of Letting Go Overthinking is the worst. It takes up your time and valuable space in your mind. Sometimes we get in our heads over the most insignificant thing – and it can run away with us. What if something bad happens? What if this happens? What if that happens? If we struggle with worry and overthinking, we often resort to the worst-case scenario almost instantly. Maybe for some of us, we ruminate for days or more on the same subject. We might think about every possible outcome until we’re sure we’ve thought of everything. Being in worry makes us feel like we’re doing something. Sometimes worrying…
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The Sting Isn’t the Whole Story We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. Maybe it was the phone call that never came. Perhaps you were waiting on an opportunity that fell through. Maybe you had your sights set on a new job that would have been perfect for you – but they decided to go in a different direction. Sometimes rejection looks as simple as a quiet shift in someone’s energy. We can assign meaning to things as subtle as a quick glance. That initial feeling of abandonment hurts. But what often hurts us more – and for a longer period of time – is how we…
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There’s always something to do. There’s always somewhere to be, something that needs your attention. With busy schedules, work, school, house repairs, and other life responsibilities, there’s always the temptation to just “push through” the mental stress and keep going. You’re expected to keep going, meet your responsibilities, tend to your relationships, and improve yourself physically and mentally. That’s a lot. Don’t forget to rest. Taking time for yourself, being comfortable, and allowing your nervous system the opportunity to calm down is just as – if not more – important than getting all of those other things done. Check out Slow Down: How to Stay Present When Life is Busy …
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Two Different Mornings Many of us start our day in a rush. It’s easy to hit snooze, and some of us just aren’t morning people. Sometimes the morning looks like waking up in a hurry after sleeping past your alarm, rushing to take a shower, halfway doing your hair, and getting somewhere at the last minute. Can you relate? For some of us, that’s just how the day starts. But what if you were more intentional about your mornings – about how you begin your day? The chaos of starting your morning in a rush echoes into the rest of your day. Not to mention, when you’re going about your…
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Authenticity Requires Consistency After Recognizing what feels off, Exploring the facts with curiosity, telling yourself the Truth, Understanding your patterns and needs, and Reclaiming the narrative of your own story – this is what comes next: you move forward differently. You make decisions from alignment instead of fear. That’s what it means to Navigate your life authentically. In the last step of the RETURN Method, we are free to move forward in our lives and live from a place of authenticity. That sounds exciting and rewarding, but what exactly does it mean to Navigate Your Life Authentically? What is it actually like? Most people value authenticity in theory but struggle…
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The Story You’ve Been Told vs. the Story You Choose Everyone tells themselves a story about their own lives. We all carry around a story of who we are and how we got that way. A lot of those stories were written when we were little, oftentimes during moments that felt bad and made us feel like we weren’t enough. Being bullied when you’re in middle school may have taught you that you needed to prove yourself, that you needed to maintain a certain image in order to have value. You may have created this narrative around an isolated, yet ongoing, event that happened and had nothing to do with…
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The Power of Understanding Yourself Many people try to “fix” themselves before they even really take the time to get to know themselves. How can you fix something you don’t fully understand?It’s common to: …without first asking ourselves: When you don’t understand the underlying problem, you tend to treat only symptoms. The result is often a series of chasing, reaching, and repeating affirmations – while subconsciously fearing that they might actually come to fruition. At any point in your journey, it’s important to be aware of how you’re feeling, your boundaries, and your values. If you don’t already know what your boundaries are or how you feel about a particular…
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The Moment After Curiosity So here we are. We have recognized that something feels off and explored the facts with curiosity. Now it’s time to be honest with ourselves. Here, we’ve reached the Truth step of the RETURN Method. Being honest with ourselves about our own truth and our own responsibility is a natural next step. While this type of honesty is very direct, it doesn’t need to be harsh or scary. Acknowledging a truth that you might not like doesn’t have to be a confrontation. We can consider it to be data that we use moving forward. The truth is stabilizing. It’s not something that needs to be avoided.…
