Authenticity Requires Consistency
After Recognizing what feels off, Exploring the facts with curiosity, telling yourself the Truth, Understanding your patterns and needs, and Reclaiming the narrative of your own story – this is what comes next: you move forward differently.
You make decisions from alignment instead of fear. That’s what it means to Navigate your life authentically.
In the last step of the RETURN Method, we are free to move forward in our lives and live from a place of authenticity. That sounds exciting and rewarding, but what exactly does it mean to Navigate Your Life Authentically? What is it actually like?
Most people value authenticity in theory but struggle with it in real life. Why? Because real-life authenticity is not easy to maintain, and it involves risk and discomfort. Authenticity is layered, and it often weaves itself in and out of every aspect of your life. That makes it something that eventually becomes a part of who you are.
When you live your life authentically, your relationships change, the way you see the world changes, and the way people experience you changes. There’s a lot to be said about this step, from how new everything feels, to discovering new feelings about things you already knew. Albeit incredibly important, that transition can be jarring and quite difficult. Check out Self-Trust Series: Self-Trust in Real Time
Being authentic requires you to know yourself, to listen to your body, and to be aware of your emotions. Living your life in an authentic way ultimately comes from making decisions in alignment with who you are.
You have to get to know yourself first.
Authenticity isn’t something you arrive at. It’s not a destination. It’s not something you finally achieve. What authenticity is, is a direction that you choose over and over again.
What Authenticity Actually Is (and Isn’t)
Authenticity is talked about quite a bit in the mainstream, and it’s also something we talk about here on this blog. So let’s first define what authenticity actually is.
Authenticity ultimately means being in alignment.
Authenticity is not saying everything you think out loud with no filter. It’s not rebellion for rebellion’s sake, or living a perfect life, or having everything figured out.
It’s possible that many of us are unsure of what authenticity actually – and it’s meaning can become convoluted. We talk about authenticity at times like it’s simply an ingredient we’re missing – but it’s a perspective.
Living your life authentically means there’s congruence between your inner world and your outer life. It means you’re honest with yourself before being concerned with the opinions of others. Living with authenticity means you keep your integrity, even in your small choices.
When you know that being kind is part of who you are, you take the steps needed to regulate your anger during interactions. You learn your limits, acknowledge what you need to feel safe in the moment, and take appropriate action to honor your intention.
Putting in this kind of effort is a lifestyle choice, and it sets you in the direction of continuous growth and learning.
You might want to ask yourself: What areas of your life do you feel most like yourself? What areas do you feel least like yourself?
Why Authentic Living Can Feel Challenging
Authentic living can feel challenging for some of us. Many of us grew up receiving messages that taught us to prioritize the approval of others. We may have learned to place our sense of value, validation, or security in the hands of those around us. Check out Understanding Validation and How to Cultivate it for Yourself
Being unsure of ourselves and wanting to feel safe might sometimes cause us to override how we actually feel.
Sometimes, even if you know exactly who you are and want to live your life authentically, it can still be challenging. Especially if you’re like many of us, who learned a long time ago that our needs were less important than things outside of us. Everyone is on a different journey and experiences different circumstances.
Choosing to live authentically means you risk being rejected. Rejection is painful and generally avoided, and sometimes we decide it’s not worth the risk. Check out Not Everyone Is for You: Letting Go of the Need for Approval
We may have adapted certain behaviors in an attempt to preserve connection when we were little, and we may still use those same strategies now.
All this to say, your journey to authenticity is going to look different all the time. Your efforts to live authentically on a day-to-day basis will be different all the time as well – and that’s okay.
That is all part of it.
The Real-Life Skills of Authentic People
Living authentically means that, a lot of the time, you move through your life a little differently. You might be a little more self-aware, a little more awake. The things you look at might take on new meaning.
The way you interpret and respond to what happens may change altogether.
Someone who is living authentically demonstrates self-awareness. With self-awareness, you can check in with yourself and notice how you’re feeling in real time. If you feel great, you know why and how to recreate that in the future. If you don’t feel so great, you can also learn why and how to adjust moving forward.
It’s all learning and gathering information so you can act accordingly.
Someone who is authentic will likely have a healthy sense of discernment. Discernment helps you determine when, where, and how to interact with people. It’s helpful when weighing relationships and understanding how you feel about certain individuals. Check out How Healing Sparks Clarity: Learning to See People with Discernment
Someone who is authentic might have a higher emotional tolerance. They’re emotionally mature and aware of their boundaries. Check out Make Sure They Bring Value
Navigating Real Situations Authentically
So what does this look like in real life?
In conversations, it means feeling comfortable speaking honestly without fear. Authenticity in your relationships can look like choosing something within your boundaries rather than abandoning yourself. You may find that your interactions become more meaningful.
Being more authentic at work can look like honoring your values while staying collaborative in a group setting. You can be flexible, know your boundaries, and still remain open to learning.
When you come into conflict, handling it authentically might mean expressing your truth without being pulled into an argument. There may be times when old programming tries to pull you back into an old narrative – however, with awareness, you can catch that and redirect your thoughts.
What does it mean to live authentically for yourself?
It could mean not abandoning yourself when no one is around. It could mean staying with thoughts that benefit you rather than slipping into negativity that brings you down. Living authentically on an individual level means identifying what’s in alignment for you and then making choices that reflect that alignment. Check out Inner-Knowing, Self-Abandonment, and Reclaiming Your Power
You Already Have Everything You Need
In order to live your life with authenticity, you need to show up for yourself first.
When you spend time with yourself and get to know yourself, you learn what your boundaries are and what you need.
When you’re able to meet your needs and stay in communication with yourself, you can live your life authentically. Authenticity becomes much more available when you know what you need in order to be authentic – and you’re honest about that regardless of circumstances.
The RETURN Method is something you practice, again and again. It’s always there for you if you need it.
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Related Reads:
How to Fall in Love with Yourself & What Happens When You Do,
How Gratitude Shapes Your Life,
Embracing Authenticity: Why Being True to Yourself Matters
How Accountability Leads to Empowerment,
Your Most Important Relationship: The One You Have With Yourself
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