The Power of Understanding Yourself
Many people try to “fix” themselves before they even really take the time to get to know themselves. How can you fix something you don’t fully understand?
It’s common to:
- adopt self-help language
- chase productivity systems
- repeat affirmations
- attempt mindset shifts
…without first asking ourselves:
- What am I actually feeling?
- What do I actually believe?
- What do I actually value?
- What patterns am I running?
When you don’t understand the underlying problem, you tend to treat only symptoms. The result is often a series of chasing, reaching, and repeating affirmations – while subconsciously fearing that they might actually come to fruition.
At any point in your journey, it’s important to be aware of how you’re feeling, your boundaries, and your values. If you don’t already know what your boundaries are or how you feel about a particular area, here is where you start looking. We might not have known then, but we know now. Check out Boundaries and Standards: How to Identify, Enforce, and Embrace What’s Best for You
Once you can identify what you want and don’t want – what’s yours and what isn’t – that’s when real growth begins. Getting to know yourself means identifying your patterns and being honest with yourself. Understanding yourself and your needs leads to clarity. When you can see yourself more clearly, you can see the world outside yourself more clearly. That’s growth.
You deserve to get to know yourself, to learn about yourself and to know what you want. Being aware of these things is important for building our relationship with ourselves and honoring what supports us best.
It’s the first step in trusting yourself. Check out Self-Trust Series: Self-Trust Comes From Staying With Yourself
Emotions Are Messengers
Don’t be afraid of your emotions – listen to what they are telling you. Sometimes they are uncomfortable, and that’s normal. The emotions we avoid often provide insight into a need that isn’t being met or a wound that needs healing.
Sometimes the emotion itself is uncomfortable, but what matters is the lesson behind it. Through that discomfort, your body and intuition tell you more about who you are and what you need to be happy. Big emotions open doors, small emotions open doors – all of them are opportunities to learn about yourself.
Listening to your emotions requires having a container for them so you don’t get overwhelmed. You may want to journal, or have a safe person to talk to – a friend, loved one, or therapist.
Boundaries Are Clarity, Not Punishment
Boundaries are not bad. They do not punish others, and they’re not rude. Boundaries are communication – a way to show others how to treat you and a way to show you how to treat yourself.
Many people feel like setting boundaries is a form of rejection, or they fear the other person will feel bad. Setting a boundary is not rejection – and the other person will get over it.
Boundaries are an important part of your relationship with yourself. Check out Your Most Important Relationship: The One You Have With Yourself or How to Know the Difference Between Walls, Barriers and Boundaries
The clearer you are on who you are and what you want, the clearer your boundaries become. I could also say: the clearer you are on your boundaries, the clearer you can see who you are and what you want.
When you understand yourself, you’re more likely to listen to your own intuition. Your self-understanding allows you to pause the voice that overrides your feelings and acknowledge your emotions. You stop abandoning yourself over trivial things, like minimizing discomfort.
When you understand yourself and build trust within yourself, you can create emotional safety for yourself.
Reflection: Self-Understanding is an Ongoing Relationship
You have a lot of feelings and emotions – and they’re all valid. The best way to learn about yourself is to sit with those feelings. It’s not a one-time event, but a lifetime commitment.
When you understand yourself and your boundaries, life becomes easier to navigate. Boundaries help you grow under the conditions you need most. Check out Give Yourself the Right Conditions to Grow
Keep an eye out for the next post The RETURN Method: Reclaim the Narrative of Your Own Story. Until then, check out the related reads and Sign Up for the NEWSLETTER below!
Related Reads:
How to Stop Absorbing Other People’s Energy: A Guide for Empaths,
Understanding Validation and How to Cultivate it for Yourself ,
Give Yourself the Right Conditions to Grow,
Acting Out of Obligation,
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