For too long, many of us have confused being nice with being good – and being liked with being worthy. We do our best to smile, to be pleasant, and we see that as the baseline for acceptable behavior. As long as the people around us approve of what we’re doing, saying, or even who we are, we assume we’re worthy. We trade our emotional awareness for the perceived approval of others. This way of thinking skips the most important questions:How are you feeling? What do you want? Are you okay? People-pleasing can become so ingrained that we lose sight…
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Have you ever been in a large group of people – maybe a work happy hour or out Christmas shopping – and suddenly felt your energy shift? Perhaps you started feeling stressed, anxious, or frustrated for no apparent reason. If you identify as an empath, these moments probably happen often. It could be as simple as someone in your vicinity carrying a heavy emotional load, and suddenly, you feel it too. While being an empath allows you to experience life deeply, it’s essential to recognize when you’re picking up other people’s emotions. Read on for more perspective on how to…
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If there’s one thing that catches my attention almost immediately, it’s when I hear someone talk down to themselves. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or a colleague, I’ve heard so many people say really harsh things after a simple mistake – things like, “I’m so stupid,” or, “What an idiot.” Every time, my heart sinks a little. I would never say something so cruel to them – and I certainly wouldn’t stand quietly if someone else did. When it comes to building self-esteem, this kind of talk is detrimental to your progress. It makes me wonder: what kind…
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Why It Hurts to Be Disliked We grow up conditioned to believe that we need to be liked by the people around us. Society tells us – sometimes gently, sometimes not – that universal approval is the goal. We’re taught to please, to perform, to soften our edges in exchange for acceptance. We are never taught how to deal with, let alone be okay with rejection. From school hallways to social media feeds, the message is clear: being liked means you’re safe, valued, and worthy. But let’s zoom out for a second. Does that really make any sense? There are…
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Difficulties and challenges are inevitable parts of life. Your response to them, however; a secure, resilience mindset – can have a direct impact on your outcome. People who develop emotional resilience are better able to navigate life’s setbacks, and often come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and more empowered. You might not even be fully aware of how resilient you already are. Resilience often shows up as subtle determination – the ability to keep going when everything around you feels uncertain. It’s not about being untouched by hardship; it’s about how you respond, adapt, and grow because of…
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How you care for yourself is a reflection of how you feel about yourself, and the two go hand in hand. Part of loving yourself and building your self-esteem is taking care of your physical self. Think of your body as a precious gift that you are responsible for taking care of. Be open to listening to your body; it will tell you what it needs every time. If you are lovingly listening, you can be there for yourself and ensure your needs are met. Prioritizing yourself is a great way to increase your self-esteem. This simple act builds self-love.…
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Insecurity ebbs and flows, just like confidence. Sometimes it seems that we diagnose someone else as being insecure, as if it’s a jab. Under the right circumstances our ego might take the wheel and call that other person insecure – as if by comparison, insecurity doesn’t apply to everyone. However, when we are the ones experiencing uncertainty, it’s easy to find reasons to feel worse and fall deeper into victim thinking. Let’s talk about where insecurities come from, and how to build real self-esteem. It’s important to remember that insecurity, like all other emotions, is fluid. Furthermore, everyone feels insecure from…
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Falling in Love With Yourself Isn’t a One-Time Thing Falling in love with yourself is not one-time event. It’s not a grand, cinematic moment where you look in the mirror and suddenly feel like you’re enough. Real self-love is based on the ongoing relationship you have with yourself. Like any relationship, the one you have with yourself also requires time, patience, and a whole lot of emotional healing and learning. It’s messy, raw, and sometimes it feels like everything is in the way of you and the love you could have for yourself. Read more for some perspective on how…
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I never allowed myself to feel anger until I was about twenty-five. Of course, I got angry, I felt full of rage at times – but I never allowed myself to be consciously aware of my anger. If I happened to get angry, I would just wait for that emotion to fade and distract myself with something else. I repressed my anger for a very long time, until I eventually realized what I was doing. I had no idea that understanding and healing anger was so important. I acted this way as a result of my conditioning; it was easier…
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If you want something in your life, you have to become it first. If you crave love, you must become love. What does that love look like? How does it act? How does it feel to have that love you’re currently craving? If you need guidance, you must guide yourself. Read books, listen to podcasts, learn what you need to learn. Give yourself encouragement. If you desire strength, you must build it within. You can create the life you want, if you just show up for yourself. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. The outside world is only ever a reflection…