Reclaim Your Power: Why We Give It Away and How to Take It Back

by Susie on April 22, 2025

Posted in Emotional Well-Being, Perspective and Growth

People give their power away in so many areas of their lives, and sometimes they don’t even realize it’s happening. We seek validation from external sources like our partners, bosses, social circles, and even social media. From the car we drive to the vacations we take, especially in the photo proof for our social pages, our sense of self-worth can be tied to the things that we own and how many people approve of us. Now, however, we’re going to take a different approach – it’s time to stop abandoning yourself and reclaim your power.

After all of the work and anxiety that goes into getting this sought after validation, it serves to wonder; does this external validation really make us feel fulfilled? And at what cost?

What Does It Mean to Give Your Power Away?
Giving your power away is a form of self-abandonment. It happens when we neglect our own needs and values in an effort to please others. This occurs when we surrender our personal authority, self-confidence, and ability to make decisions to external sources such as people, social expectations, or self-doubt. More often than not, we give our power away on an unconscious level. Over time, this self-abandonment can be detrimental to our self-worth and overall quality of life.

We give up control when we let our self-esteem hinge on the way someone else is feeling about us, or when we measure our success by someone else’s standards. It happens when our emotional state becomes controlled by how others treat us. Compromising your boundaries and devaluing your perspective creates a sense of not being enough. If you don’t nurture feelings of acceptance and worth from within, you seek validation outside of yourself – and that’s not where real validation lives. This fleeting feeling of fulfillment only keeps you in the cycle of constantly striving, working for and, chasing more validation.

How Giving Away Your Power Affects Your Self-Worth
Sometimes, we place an enormous responsibility on other people to define how we feel about ourselves. It can be easy to give up that power at times. Depending on our emotional wounds, we might unconsciously place more value on how other people feel about us, so we don’t have to take responsibility for our own healing and self-esteem. We may even give our power away to people we don’t know – perhaps someone who doesn’t seem to like us, or we perceive them as unkind. In those moments, we feel the need to prove ourselves. Take notice of when you do this and reflect on how you can use that energy to nurture yourself instead of relying on external approval.

Who are you trying to prove yourself to?
What are you trying to prove?
Will this actually benefit you? And if so, how?

You have this one beautiful life, full of promise and possibility; you have a choice in how you feel about yourself and a right to heal as much as anyone. Imagine if you took back all the energy you give away for superficial moments of external approval and used it for your own growth and empowerment.

How to Recognize When You’re Giving Your Power Away
The first step in reclaiming your power is becoming aware of when you give it away. Pay attention to moments when you feel uncertain, anxious or when you base your decisions on the opinions of others. If you constantly seek approval or feel dysregulated based on someone else’s actions, you’re likely giving away your power. Below are some examples:

Finding yourself constantly trying to prove you’re good enough.
Feeling emotionally unsettled because of someone else’s actions.
Making decisions based on how you think others will react.
Letting people who don’t value you, dictate your self-worth.

Why Do We Give Our Power Away?
There are several reasons why we give our power away, often without realizing it. At some point, we may have decided that we could derive our worth from others instead of from within ourselves. Perhaps we were taught to seek external validation or learned to do so as a survival mechanism. Below are some common reasons why people give their power away:

Avoiding disapproval: Those with people-pleasing tendencies often give their power away in search of approval.
Lack of boundaries: Saying “yes” when you mean “no,” tolerating disrespect, or letting others make decisions for you are all ways to give your power away.
Low self-esteem: Believing that others know better than you, or that they’re more competent, can make you feel powerless.
Low confidence: Challenging self-doubt is essential—your inner strength is more capable than you realize.
Victim mindset: Viewing life as something that happens to you, instead of seeing challenges as opportunities to grow, keeps you in a disempowered state.

Whatever the reason, it’s important to understand that you have the power to decide where your energy and attention go. Right now, you can choose to reclaim your power.

How to Take Your Power Back
Reclaiming your power is about changing your perspective. For some, it’s as simple as deciding to take their power back, while others may need to go through more steps to evaluate how they’ve been giving it away. Here are practical ways to begin reclaiming your power:

Own Your Choices
Take responsibility for the choices you make; all of them. Acknowledge that you always have a choice, even in difficult situations.

Set and Enforce Healthy Boundaries
It’s okay to say “no.” Prioritizing your needs and well-being over others is not only acceptable, it’s your responsibility.

Detach from External Validation
You don’t need external validation to feel worthy. Your self-worth is not dependent on other people’s opinions or approval. Let go of the need for specific reactions from other people.

Avoid a Victim Perspective
Instead of seeing life’s challenges as something that happens to you, try to view them as opportunities for growth. Learn from your experiences and use them to become stronger and more empowered. Life happens for you, not to you.

Take Up Space
You have the right to take up space; right where you are. Speak your truth, make decisions that align with your authentic self, and do it unapologetically.

Strengthen Your Inner Dialogue
Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. If you’re prone to self-criticism, start practicing compassion. Shift your inner dialogue from self-deprecation to supportive encouragement.

Prioritize Your Own Opinion
Your opinions and beliefs are valid, and you are not required to seek permission or approval from anyone else. Taking your power back requires you to act in alignment with your own values and desires, without constantly measuring yourself against others.

Give Yourself Permission
You are not required to live your life seeking permission or validation from anyone. Taking your power back is much more than having a few moments of clarity and occasionally choosing yourself. Reclaiming your power is about recognizing the value in your own responsibility for your happiness, choices, and energy. Your mental and emotional well-being are worth so much more than being reduced to someone else’s uninformed opinion. You are the only one who knows what is best for you.

Choose to be empowered – you deserve it.

Resources If you’d like to learn more about reclaiming your power, check out these links:

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