People-pleasers are often described as “nice”. Beyond nice, however, people-pleasers are sensitive, emotionally attuned and often deeply empathetic. The problem occurs when empathy becomes your way of survival; when you unconsciously believe that other people’s comfort is more important than your truth – it gradually depletes your self-worth. People-pleasing is a survival strategy, and we do it out of fear – fear of disappointing others, fear of abandonment. Fear that if we don’t make other people happy; we aren’t lovable. The Unseen Burden of Pleasing If you were conditioned to view approval as the same as love, you likely learned that disappointing someone meant you would lose connection. In the…
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Emotions are an essential part of the human experience, in fact, it’s our emotions that make us human. We feel our feelings all throughout the day, but how often do we really take time to understand what we’re feeling and why? Most of us have been conditioned to categorize emotions as “good” or “bad,” but the reality is, emotions are far too complicated and nuanced to use such a binary approach. Moving beyond the “good” vs. “bad” emotional framework allows you to better identify and understand your emotions, and get to know yourself in the process. In this post, we’ll explore how to let go of the judgements you make…
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Sometimes it seems that we diagnose someone else as being insecure, as if it’s a jab. Under the right circumstances our ego might take the wheel and call that other person insecure – as if by comparison, insecurity doesn’t apply to everyone. However, when we are the ones experiencing uncertainty, it’s easy to find reasons to feel worse and fall deeper into victim thinking. Let’s talk about where insecurities come from, and how to build real self-esteem. It’s important to remember that insecurity, like all other emotions, is fluid. Furthermore, everyone feels insecure from time to time. Insecurity is a learned thing, absorbed over years like secondhand smoke. And just like…
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On our journey to find our most authentic selves, we will likely come across others who may have varying ways of responding to us. As you grow, and learn and move closer to who you really are, there are some people in your life who may show resistance to those changes. In this post, we discuss how to tell if someone is jealous of you and six ways to identify envy in others. As you increase your respect for yourself, you may allow less disrespect from others. Comments, looks, reactions that you once allowed or even accepted, may no longer be able to exist around you. As you continue to…
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Why Remaining Calm in Stressful Situations Changes EverythingRemaining calm is going to be the first step you take in assessing a situation. There are so many different day-to-day events that can trigger us—how do you know when and how to be less reactive when you’re emotionally triggered? Take a breath. We aren’t talking about extenuating circumstances where you might be in danger; if you find yourself looking at a hungry bear that wants to chase you, go ahead and let your fight or flight do its thing. In the event you find that you are being too reactive to people in your life, or you find yourself wishing you had…
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Runaway thoughts often lead to overwhelming emotions. For many of us, managing and understanding your emotions can feel like an uphill battle—especially when some emotions seem to linger longer than welcome. But here’s the truth: your emotions are not your enemy. They’re messengers. In this post, we’ll walk through the first step to understanding your emotions, how to acknowledge them without judgment, and how that awareness can transform your emotional well-being. Why Understanding Your Emotions Is So Important Emotions are powerful. They’re complex. And above all, they’re trying to tell you something important. Whether you’re at work, trying to sleep, exercising, or making dinner—your emotions show up, often uninvited. Your…
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Self-love is a topic that gets a lot of attention—but what does it actually mean? How do we cultivate self-love? If we have a healthy relationship with ourselves, we may want to deepen it. If we don’t, chances are, we feel that too. The presence or absence of self-love impacts every area of life: our relationships, career success, boundaries, and emotional well-being. But how do we get to a place of authentic self-love? And what does loving yourself truly look like in a world filled with mixed messages and unrealistic expectations? In this post, we’ll explore: Self-Love Looks Different for Everyone We often hear people say: “You have to love…
