The Myth of Closure When someone hurts us, we want an explanation. We want them to tell us why they did it, or how they feel. Sometimes, after an event, we get stuck trying to figure it out. We might spend hours ruminating, replaying conversations, and trying to pinpoint exactly the moment that things ‘went wrong’. It can feel like life is happening to us, rather than for us. What I’ve noticed is that the closure we’re looking for, that answer, that magic moment when everything suddenly becomes okay – it’s something you create for yourself. Closure is something you choose; closure is a boundary. You can want closure about…
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We all want to be accepted by the group, included, and made to feel like we matter. It’s part of our evolution; at one point not being accepted by the group meant you lost safety and would likely get eaten by something. Now, the consequences aren’t so dire, but we still want to be accepted. It seems like sometimes there’s almost an unspoken idea that the more liked you are, the more value you have. For those of us who learned to attune to others early, or learned connection through caretaking, being liked by the group may feel specifically important. We may expect approval as a necessity. The problem with…
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Have you ever felt uncomfortable receiving a compliment? How about a heartfelt thank you, or praise for something you genuinely deserve? We’ve all been there. Sometimes we receive compliments and don’t know how to react. Other times, getting recognition can feel a little awkward—even when it’s given where it’s due. But have you ever thought about why this is? Why is it so hard to accept a compliment? Where did we learn this from? What would happen if you actually processed these kind words of celebration and allowed them to land? I’ve come a long way in learning about myself—understanding who I am, who I was, and the choice that…
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I love plants; my living room is kind of a jungle, and I will find any reason to take a trip to the nursery. I’ve talked to a lot of people who feel like they can’t keep plants alive. Sometimes it can be intimidating, and some plants are easier to care for than others. While I’m no expert and have unfortunately killed my fair share of plants, what I’ve learned the most is that if you just provide the right conditions for your plant — it will do the rest. When you know the plant you’re working with, and you know what it needs, all you have to do is…
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Have you ever been in a group setting, and everyone is chatting, and the atmosphere is light – and then enter that one person who just can’t read a room? This person stands out like a sore thumb, energetically. They are up when everyone else is down, down when everyone else is up. Bringing up a conversation that ended, not that long ago – with the same content. Typically this person makes the air a little awkward, or otherwise uncomfortable for everyone around. It’s almost as if you want to get their attention and say something like “Hey! Look around!” because nothing they’re doing or saying is in alignment with…
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Interestingly enough, I had never really thought about my self-worth much at all until recently. That meant I didn’t even really know what self-worth was, or quite how to answer how I felt about my own. So what did that look like in my relationships and how I showed up in life? I didn’t realize I was doing this, but I was tying how the people felt about me — to my perception of my value. I let other people — how they treated me, their questions, comments, concerns (or lack thereof) — determine how I felt about myself. How exhausting: constantly jumping from one set of eyes to another,…
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Healing doesn’t only mean you make friends with your shadow side, and it’s more than working through past traumas. There’s even more to it than learning to trust yourself. We all know that healing requires you to walk through some dark nights and accept some hard truths. We also know that there is freedom on the other side of letting go. One thing, however, that I don’t think is discussed as much when it comes to healing, is how much space you create for yourself to feel the good things more fully. So many of us approach our healing journey with the hopes of feeling better, less sad, less focused…
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It’s almost like before we begin healing, we’re one person, and after healing, we become someone entirely new. Not in personality or essence, but in how we see. This is a shift that is both natural and necessary. When you’re still hurting, it’s easy to move through life wearing a filter that distorts reality just enough to protect your heart. However, healing sparks clarity; it removes that filter—and what you begin to see might surprise you. You start to feel a new kind of peace—one that doesn’t depend on how others behave. That freedom allows you to notice things you hadn’t before: the subtle ways people take, the quiet manipulations…
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How do you normally react when someone tries to push your buttons? Do you immediately feel your heart rate increase and roll up your sleeves? Or, do you take a moment to pause, and think about how you would like to respond? What if you withdrew your energy altogether and chose to be unbothered? Today we are going to discuss healthy detachment, or pulling your energy back from a person or situation. No big exit, no heads up—just quietly reclaiming your power. We’ll also talk about what happens on the other side of that energetic shift. Does the other person feel it? Can other people tell? Let’s get clear about…
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Have you ever been in a large group of people – maybe a work happy hour or out Christmas shopping – and suddenly felt your energy shift? Perhaps you started feeling stressed, anxious, or frustrated for no apparent reason. If you identify as an empath, these moments probably happen often. It could be as simple as someone in your vicinity carrying a heavy emotional load, and suddenly, you feel it too. While being an empath allows you to experience life deeply, it’s essential to recognize when you’re picking up other people’s emotions. Read on for more perspective on how to stop absorbing other people’s energy. The Struggles of Being an…
