The Myth of Closure When someone hurts us, we want an explanation. We want them to tell us why they did it, or how they feel. Sometimes, after an event, we get stuck trying to figure it out. We might spend hours ruminating, replaying conversations, and trying to pinpoint exactly the moment that things ‘went wrong’. It can feel like life is happening to us, rather than for us. What I’ve noticed is that the closure we’re looking for, that answer, that magic moment when everything suddenly becomes okay – it’s something you create for yourself. Closure is something you choose; closure is a boundary. You can want closure about…
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Have you ever felt uncomfortable receiving a compliment? How about a heartfelt thank you, or praise for something you genuinely deserve? We’ve all been there. Sometimes we receive compliments and don’t know how to react. Other times, getting recognition can feel a little awkward—even when it’s given where it’s due. But have you ever thought about why this is? Why is it so hard to accept a compliment? Where did we learn this from? What would happen if you actually processed these kind words of celebration and allowed them to land? I’ve come a long way in learning about myself—understanding who I am, who I was, and the choice that…
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I love plants; my living room is kind of a jungle, and I will find any reason to take a trip to the nursery. I’ve talked to a lot of people who feel like they can’t keep plants alive. Sometimes it can be intimidating, and some plants are easier to care for than others. While I’m no expert and have unfortunately killed my fair share of plants, what I’ve learned the most is that if you just provide the right conditions for your plant — it will do the rest. When you know the plant you’re working with, and you know what it needs, all you have to do is…
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Have you ever been in a group setting, and everyone is chatting, and the atmosphere is light – and then enter that one person who just can’t read a room? This person stands out like a sore thumb, energetically. They are up when everyone else is down, down when everyone else is up. Bringing up a conversation that ended, not that long ago – with the same content. Typically this person makes the air a little awkward, or otherwise uncomfortable for everyone around. It’s almost as if you want to get their attention and say something like “Hey! Look around!” because nothing they’re doing or saying is in alignment with…
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Interestingly enough, I had never really thought about my self-worth much at all until recently. That meant I didn’t even really know what self-worth was, or quite how to answer how I felt about my own. So what did that look like in my relationships and how I showed up in life? I didn’t realize I was doing this, but I was tying how the people felt about me — to my perception of my value. I let other people — how they treated me, their questions, comments, concerns (or lack thereof) — determine how I felt about myself. How exhausting: constantly jumping from one set of eyes to another,…
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It’s almost like before we begin healing, we’re one person, and after healing, we become someone entirely new. Not in personality or essence, but in how we see. This is a shift that is both natural and necessary. When you’re still hurting, it’s easy to move through life wearing a filter that distorts reality just enough to protect your heart. However, healing sparks clarity; it removes that filter—and what you begin to see might surprise you. You start to feel a new kind of peace—one that doesn’t depend on how others behave. That freedom allows you to notice things you hadn’t before: the subtle ways people take, the quiet manipulations…
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We talk a lot about using compassion, patience, and understanding as tools for growth—and rightfully so. They’re essential. But one powerful tool that often gets overlooked is curiosity. Approaching situations with curiosity and the intent to learn more can change your whole experience. Asking deeper questions helps you understand the world and yourself. Being open allows you to find the answers you’re looking for, and having curiosity leads to clarity. Use curiosity in place of judgement – judgment closes your mind, while curiosity does the opposite. In fact, curiosity allows you to see everything from a different perspective; it can even be fun if you want it to be! You…
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When we imagine healing, many of us picture something soft. We might expect lightness, peace, or a specific kind of clarity. Eventually, yes, those things do come. However, in the beginning – and often right in the thick of it – healing can feel like a flood of emotions. It can feel overwhelming and we can sense it in places we didn’t even know we were holding pain. Something that doesn’t get talked about quite as much, is that healing sometimes hurts, too. Sometimes, healing can feel a little confusing. You might find yourself thinking, “Why does this hurt more now? Shouldn’t I feel better? Isn’t healing supposed to help…
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Have you ever been in a large group of people – maybe a work happy hour or out Christmas shopping – and suddenly felt your energy shift? Perhaps you started feeling stressed, anxious, or frustrated for no apparent reason. If you identify as an empath, these moments probably happen often. It could be as simple as someone in your vicinity carrying a heavy emotional load, and suddenly, you feel it too. While being an empath allows you to experience life deeply, it’s essential to recognize when you’re picking up other people’s emotions. Read on for more perspective on how to stop absorbing other people’s energy. The Struggles of Being an…
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We live out certain patterns in our lives, and sometimes we aren’t even aware that it’s happening. These are repeated behaviors we have been acting out for a very long time, and yet we have no conscious awareness of them. Being a people-pleaser is a manifestation of one of those patterns. On the outside, it can look like simply being helpful, offering a friendly smile or giving of your time to those who need it. However, on a deeper level, it can stem from fear, a desire to be enough, and a belief that our worth is dependent on how others perceive us. Let’s talk about the connection between people-pleasing…
