Before getting to know myself, detachment of any kind was not something that was available to me. Realistically, detachment was something I had heard about on YouTube. I learned about the idea of detachment from Buddhism, but I had never felt it for myself or experienced the freedom that comes with it. It seems like the idea of detachment has several different interpretations among people. Some of us might feel uncomfortable with detachment because it means letting go. If we detach, do we not care? Does that mean we’re being cold? How will our detachment be perceived? Not to mention, detaching from someone or something also means letting go of…
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I was talking with a friend the other day about how easy it is to just sit and scroll on your phone. You open it to check something, and suddenly fifteen minutes, a half hour, or more has gone by. There’s always something vying for our attention. Sometimes, we just focus on whichever voice is the loudest, object is the shiniest, or gossip is the juiciest — often without even realizing it. Other times, we might be feeling insecure, anxious, or uncertain. We question ourselves or worry if we did the right thing. For some, this kind of thinking leads to ruminating and spiraling into even more self-doubt. What you…
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Attention is the main currency in any situation. When you’re a child, you want your caregivers to look — look at what you did, look at what you found, look at you. As you get older, attention shows up as recognition in school or sports, where suddenly everyone is looking at you. When you are acknowledged in different areas of your life, people “take a look” at your accomplishments, and for a moment, the room’s attention is on you. Of course, things happen whether we are looking at them or not — but our attention to something, often in the form of physically looking, is what gives it weight, meaning,…
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Over the years, I’ve crossed paths with people who held different levels of responsibility in their work. They weren’t celebrities or familiar names, but they were people who played roles that shaped the companies and teams around them. Some had built decades-long careers, growing with their companies one step at a time. Some folks were just stepping into larger leadership roles. What stood out to me was never quite their title — it was how they showed up, what they brought to the table, and how they made other people feel. Once, I heard a man speak just before retiring after nearly fifty years with the same company. He had…
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Your relationship with yourself is so important. We often prioritize our relationships with others — a romantic partner, our family, or our friend groups. We care deeply about how we’re perceived and received by others, yet we rarely stop to think about how we feel about ourselves. Some of us outsource our validation — our acceptance and sense of safety — to those around us. We decide how we feel about ourselves based on how others feel about us. While being open to feedback is wise and helpful during reflection, it can’t be the sole source of our well-being. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other connection…
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When was the last time you were upset about something? Maybe you had a fight with a friend or colleague. Maybe you had a breakup, or someone slighted you in public. Whatever the case may be, it’s likely that there have been times in your life where someone hurt you — and you had to move on. Moving on from conflict can be difficult, especially when there’s a lot of emotional charge attached to it. The end of a long-term romantic relationship, the betrayal of what was once a strong friendship, or misunderstandings with a family member can all leave lasting effects. Feelings of anger, injustice, shame, embarrassment — or…
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The universe communicates with me all the time. Sometimes in “mysterious ways,” sometimes in ways that are so direct it’s undeniable. Synchronicities show up, such as numbers on a clock, the perfect lyrics in a song, or even through conversations with others. We can always learn and grow and expand — even in moments when someone directs a throwaway comment our way. Sometimes what feels meaningless to one person can drastically impact another’s life. Maybe our higher power speaks to us in all kinds of ways — we just have to be open to looking for it. There are messages in times that are happy and growth-filled, and other times,…
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Everyone craves validation. People want to feel like they matter—that they’re important, attractive, successful, and ultimately acceptable to the group. Validation, whether it comes from within or from others, mirrors our emotions and inner world. It helps us know that we’re okay. You can think of validation as emotional feedback. When we’re infants, we look into our caregivers’ eyes for confirmation that we’re safe and that we matter. As we grow, the smile a parent gives us when we seek reassurance, the friend who listens when we need to talk, or the encouragement from a teacher when we’re struggling—all of these are forms of reassurance. They’re the building blocks of…
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I was with a couple of friends recently. They were talking about some home renovations they were making, when one asked the other, “What if so-and-so moved in next to you?”. Without missing a beat, my friend replied, “I would move.” They both laughed at the idea, and then the one responded with, “Wow, they have a lot of power over you.” I thought about that quite a bit. What does it mean to let someone have power over you? I’ve actually heard that phrase all throughout my life. From middle school, to college and even in my adult life. Some advice that’s been consistently given to me is “don’t…
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When I was in sixth grade, I was bullied pretty severely. It happened on a daily basis, and it eroded everything about my self-esteem. My bully was an eleven-year-old boy who called me names and encouraged the other kids to taunt me. Many of them would join in. At that time, I didn’t know what to do or what to say, so I did my best to ignore it. By ignoring it, however, that meant he got away with more and more. This went on for the whole school year and eventually became normalized by the kids in my class. I don’t remember most of what was said, but I…
