I was once told that people come into your life as you need them, and they exit your life as you don’t. When we talk about friendship, it’s usually framed as something that should last a lifetime – but rarely do we acknowledge the seasons that come with it. In most cases, forever isn’t how it goes. Throughout my life, I have made and lost many friends. Some I thought would be there for the long haul; others left over the smallest details. Often, I found myself wondering why it happened, feeling sad, internalizing their actions, and holding onto bitterness for a while. As life would have it, friends don’t…
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From an early age, we are taught that the way people view us is important. Being around other kids is when we first learn that how we are perceived often influences how others treat us. Some of us may have even received direct messages from parents or caregivers that image matters. While those messages aren’t necessarily wrong, the nuance often gets lost in translation. When you receive messages of external validation as a child – or at a time when independent thought isn’t fully developed – your self-image can become skewed. We might place too much emphasis on the opinions of others. Having a clean reputation and a good public…
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People want certainty. It’s human to want to label and compartmentalize things in our minds so we can feel safe. If we meet someone new, we might call them a friend. Upon trying a new restaurant, we decide if we like it or not. When we go to a new place, we’ll find ways to describe it in relation to places we’ve been. A lot of times, when we make a new decision or feel a new pull, we tend to rush to define it. Whether we’re taking up a new hobby or meeting a potential partner, it’s easy to want to label and categorize our experience quickly. The thing…
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Jealousy is a powerful emotion. I think it’s something we all feel, but it’s not something we talk about very much. No one is ever proud to announce that they’re jealous of someone else. After all, jealousy usually stems from a sense of lack and fear, so it also reveals other insecurities. Depending on your level of self-awareness or the image that you maintain, that’s not really a good look. If you’ve ever felt jealous and yucky about it – or perhaps you struggle with jealousy – this post might provide you with a little perspective. What if you could simply choose a new alternative to this seemingly all-consuming emotion?…
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How do I discern whether someone belongs in my life? Who you let into your life is important. We might not always realize it right away, but the people we allow ourselves to be around influence us – sometimes more than we know. As humans, we can’t help but learn from each other. That’s why being mindful about who gets access to your energy isn’t just a nice idea – it’s necessary. Being discerning with my time and energy is something I’ve been actively working on. This post is a reflection on the importance of being choosy about who you share your time with – whether it’s a romantic partner,…
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If you survived high school, chances are you know about mean girl behavior. You may have had your own mean girl, or you may have been one yourself. These women are difficult, to say the least – manipulative, cold, cruel. And they aren’t only found in high‑school hallways; the mean girl can also show up in adulthood. Unfortunately, people don’t always “grow out” of it. We all know that one woman who can dole out a solid back‑handed compliment or shower you with micro‑aggressions. But what actually is a mean girl? What makes her so mean, and how do we handle being around her without losing our peace? What Is…
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How many people do we meet over the course of our lives? Sometimes those people are with us throughout our whole lives, and sometimes they are only with us for the short term. However long the stay, everyone has something to teach us. The goal for this post is to remind folks to consider the greater good of their life journey when someone in their life chooses to exit. I tend to look at the end of a relationship as the end of a life lesson; what has that person taught me? Different people are meant to show you certain things. Someone who oversteps your boundaries may be teaching you…
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This morning, I was talking to my therapist about why I keep giving myself excuses for not starting my blog. He pointed out that it’s my programming – those old beliefs and fears – that are stopping me from taking that step. Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, and the thought that someone might not like what I write are all powerful forces that hold me back, just a few of the things I will talk about on my journey of self-discovery. One vivid thought that kept creeping into my mind was imagining my mom, all sweet in her little-old-lady housecoat, doing an innocent Google search of my name. The…
