Why Emotional Regulation Matters Emotional regulation isn’t just “keeping calm, and carrying on”. It’s noticing how you are feeling, understanding that those emotions are trying to tell you something, and navigating your way through those emotions intentionally. Have you ever caught yourself thinking, Why do I overreact to everything? Or wondering why, when things pile up, you either shut down completely or feel like your emotions are suddenly way bigger than the moment calls for? Maybe you’ve asked yourself how to stay calm when you’re triggered, or why small things seem to set you off even when you’re doing “all the right work.” Or maybe the question is simpler than…
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When Self-Trust Stops Being Theoretical Self-trust isn’t something you decide you have. It’s not something you can fake. And once you’ve built a foundation of self-trust, it doesn’t require constant effort—it shows up on its own. You see it most clearly in moments where there’s no applause. No validation. No reassurance that you’re doing the right thing. Sometimes doing what’s best for you—standing up for what you believe in and holding firm in your values—can feel incredibly lonely. But those are the moments that reveal how deeply you trust yourself. Having the courage to stand alone when it feels like everyone else is on the other side is self-trust in…
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I was talking with someone the other day who was telling me about an interaction they had. They said, “I should’ve thought of that then. Now I’m going to be thinking about it all day.” Sometimes people do that. I’ve talked to a lot of people who replay conversations in their head, wishing they had said something differently, or imagining how they could’ve responded better. I’ve done this too. There are times when I’ve looked back at a conversation and thought it could’ve gone differently, or second-guessed a decision I made. Even something small — like changing your hair, loving it, and still asking friends or family for approval. We…
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When navigating through relationships, in any capacity, it’s hard to know exactly what you’re going to get from one person. A lot of times people hide how they actually feel, they might favor politeness instead of realness, they might not even be aware of their behavior. There are a plethora of ways you can experience someone, and in my experience, you actually can get a preview of what they might have to offer—if you just listen to them. In everyday conversation, people tend to declare things about themselves. They want you to know how they identify, they want the things they feel strongly about to be known. I wrote another…
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Sometimes people just start talking — sharing their stories, their worries, their problems. While it’s wonderful that others may feel safe and comfortable enough with you to open up, these conversations can sometimes feel uncomfortable or even unwarranted. Have you ever found yourself listening out of obligation as someone tells you about their challenges? I’ve had strangers share details about their health issues, their children’s life choices, or regrets that have weighed on them over time. It’s easy to stay in these interactions to avoid seeming rude — but what can moments like these teach us? In conversations like these, I often find myself nodding along in acknowledgment. But nodding…
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Abuse is not something that’s easy to write about, I want to be sure I am compassionate to those who have and are experiencing abuse. Abuse comes in a lot of different forms, happens to different degrees and can be experienced by anyone. As such, this particular perspective might only apply to a few folks specifically, and that’s okay – please use this information at your discretion. Being a survivor of domestic abuse growing up, this insight comes from my own experience both at home and in other environments. My hope is that you might find the following concepts to be helpful and empowering. Consider the signs listed below and…
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I have learned a few things throughout my roughly ten years of working in sales. After talking with lots of people from different ages, ethnicities, backgrounds – you name it – the biggest takeaway has been this: you can say anything to anyone, you just have to say it the right way. It’s a mindset that’s guided me through conversations both big and small, uncomfortable and necessary. Whether it’s setting boundaries, expressing needs, or offering feedback, this principle has shown me how to communicate in a way that is effective for both me and the other person. Being aware that the context around your message, and how it is delivered…
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I’m not sure who all can relate to this, but for most of my life I assumed that just because someone was being nice to me — that also meant they were my friend. People are nice to other people for all kinds of reasons, and unfortunately no, it doesn’t make you friends. Sometimes someone might be nice to you as a way to manipulate you, use you to manipulate someone else, or they might just be nice to you because they are nice to everyone. Just because someone is pleasant to be around doesn’t mean the two of you have a connection. It doesn’t make them trustworthy and it…
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For too long, many of us have confused being nice with being good – and being liked with being worthy. We do our best to smile, to be pleasant, and we see that as the baseline for acceptable behavior. As long as the people around us approve of what we’re doing, saying, or even who we are, we assume we’re worthy. We trade our emotional awareness for the perceived approval of others. This way of thinking skips the most important questions:How are you feeling?What do you want? Are you okay? People-pleasing can become so ingrained that we lose sight of our own emotional wellbeing altogether. If you’re a people-pleaser, you…
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Everyone experiences pain at some point in their life. Whether you’re talking about things like loss, or disappointment, or learning that your best friend really isn’t a friend to you after all – pain from these moments teaches us something. Everyone reacts differently to painful lessons; some folks take it in stride and use that discomfort to create meaningful change in their lives. Others hold on to the pain, and sometimes they take protective measures to ensure they don’t get hurt again. In this post, we’ll discuss the difference between walls, barriers and boundaries. When it comes to protecting ourselves and our emotional wellbeing, many of us instinctively put up defenses.…
