For too long, many of us have confused being nice with being good – and being liked with being worthy. We do our best to smile, to be pleasant, and we see that as the baseline for acceptable behavior. As long as the people around us approve of what we’re doing, saying, or even who we are, we assume we’re worthy. We trade our emotional awareness for the perceived approval of others. This way of thinking skips the most important questions:How are you feeling? What do you want? Are you okay? People-pleasing can become so ingrained that we lose sight…
-
-
Have you ever been in a large group of people – maybe a work happy hour or out Christmas shopping – and suddenly felt your energy shift? Perhaps you started feeling stressed, anxious, or frustrated for no apparent reason. If you identify as an empath, these moments probably happen often. It could be as simple as someone in your vicinity carrying a heavy emotional load, and suddenly, you feel it too. While being an empath allows you to experience life deeply, it’s essential to recognize when you’re picking up other people’s emotions. Read on for more perspective on how to…
-
If there’s one thing that catches my attention almost immediately, it’s when I hear someone talk down to themselves. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or a colleague, I’ve heard so many people say really harsh things after a simple mistake – things like, “I’m so stupid,” or, “What an idiot.” Every time, my heart sinks a little. I would never say something so cruel to them – and I certainly wouldn’t stand quietly if someone else did. When it comes to building self-esteem, this kind of talk is detrimental to your progress. It makes me wonder: what kind…
-
Insecurity ebbs and flows, just like confidence. Sometimes it seems that we diagnose someone else as being insecure, as if it’s a jab. Under the right circumstances our ego might take the wheel and call that other person insecure – as if by comparison, insecurity doesn’t apply to everyone. However, when we are the ones experiencing uncertainty, it’s easy to find reasons to feel worse and fall deeper into victim thinking. Let’s talk about where insecurities come from, and how to build real self-esteem. It’s important to remember that insecurity, like all other emotions, is fluid. Furthermore, everyone feels insecure from…
-
Falling in Love With Yourself Isn’t a One-Time Thing Falling in love with yourself is not one-time event. It’s not a grand, cinematic moment where you look in the mirror and suddenly feel like you’re enough. Real self-love is based on the ongoing relationship you have with yourself. Like any relationship, the one you have with yourself also requires time, patience, and a whole lot of emotional healing and learning. It’s messy, raw, and sometimes it feels like everything is in the way of you and the love you could have for yourself. Read more for some perspective on how…
-
I never allowed myself to feel anger until I was about twenty-five. Of course, I got angry, I felt full of rage at times – but I never allowed myself to be consciously aware of my anger. If I happened to get angry, I would just wait for that emotion to fade and distract myself with something else. I repressed my anger for a very long time, until I eventually realized what I was doing. I had no idea that understanding and healing anger was so important. I acted this way as a result of my conditioning; it was easier…
-
If you want something in your life, you have to become it first. If you crave love, you must become love. What does that love look like? How does it act? How does it feel to have that love you’re currently craving? If you need guidance, you must guide yourself. Read books, listen to podcasts, learn what you need to learn. Give yourself encouragement. If you desire strength, you must build it within. You can create the life you want, if you just show up for yourself. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. The outside world is only ever a reflection…
-
There are a lot of efforts being made on behalf of the beauty industry to be more inclusive and accepting of people’s differences. The problem is that even still, you may be bombarded with varying messages that make it hard to love and accept your body. Those messages tell you your body must to look a certain way to be worthy, to be loved, to belong. What doesn’t belong is the belief that you are somehow less because you don’t fit into an impossible mold that was never designed for you in the first place. However, you are not here…
-
Ever notice how easy it is to show respect to others, yet when it comes to ourselves, we’re often the first to dismiss, criticize, or downright betray our own needs? I’ve certainly been there. The thing is, self-respect is the foundation of everything – confidence, strong relationships, peace of mind. When you respect yourself, you stop settling, you stop apologizing for existing, and you start owning your worth. But what does respect actually mean? Let’s take a look. What is Respect? Respect is about much more than social etiquette or being polite. It’s about recognizing someone’s worth (including your own),…
-
Why Remaining Calm in Stressful Situations Changes EverythingRemaining calm is going to be the first step you take in assessing a situation. There are so many different day-to-day events that can trigger us—how do you know when and how to be less reactive when you’re emotionally triggered? Take a breath. We aren’t talking about extenuating circumstances where you might be in danger; if you find yourself looking at a hungry bear that wants to chase you, go ahead and let your fight or flight do its thing. In the event you find that you are being too reactive to people…