Generally speaking, most people only ever think of a power move within the context of aggression or manipulation. In discussion, these moves are usually referenced when someone asserts dominance or control at the expense of someone else. In fact, this might be the only context where the term “power move” comes up. But—what if we chose to use our power to help people? To lift others up rather than push them down to “assert dominance”? The reality is, you can be more powerful than someone, and that standing never actually needs to be acknowledged. What if we thought of power moves differently? The Traditional View of “Power Moves” In my…
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When I first started talking with my therapist, one of the things he told me to look out for were patterns—patterns in myself and even patterns that I would notice in others. It wasn’t long before I noticed times where I would always respond one way or never do something in a specific situation. Sometimes, for instance, if I had any perceived rejection, I would resort to negative, unhelpful thoughts that might have served me at one time but don’t any longer. I would meet feelings of sadness and unworthiness and buckle in for a spiral through negative thoughts that I had as far back as childhood. Moments like this…
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I was once told that people come into your life as you need them, and they exit your life as you don’t. When we talk about friendship, it’s usually framed as something that should last forever—but rarely do we acknowledge the seasons that come with it. In most cases, forever isn’t how it goes. Throughout my life, I have made and lost many friends. Some I thought would be there for a lifetime; others left over the smallest details. Often, I found myself wondering why it happened, feeling sad, internalizing their actions, and holding onto a bit of bitterness for a while. As life would have it, friends don’t just…
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From an early age, we are taught that the way people view us is important. When we’re little, being around other kids is when we first learn that how others perceive us often influences how they treat us. Some of us may have even received direct messages from parents or caregivers that image matters. While those messages aren’t necessarily wrong, the nuance often gets lost in translation. When you receive a message like that as a child—or at a time when independent thought isn’t fully developed—it can become skewed. The idea that people’s opinions are important, that having a clean reputation and a good public image is the goal, led…
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People want certainty. It’s human to want to label and compartmentalize things in our minds so we can feel safe. If we meet someone new, we might call them a friend. Upon trying a new restaurant, we decide if we like it or not. When we go to a new place, we’ll find ways to describe it in relation to places we’ve been. A lot of times, when we make a new decision or feel a new pull, we tend to rush to define it. Whether we’re taking up a new hobby or meeting a potential partner, it’s easy to want to label and categorize our experience quickly. The thing…
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I recently had a cancer scare. I went to my primary care doctor who did an exam, found a lump and recommended that I get a mammogram immediately. I felt like I had been smacked in the face by an invisible person. The following day, at the earliest available appointment, I had my mammogram and an ultrasound. The radiologist didn’t find anything benign or suspicious – the lump turned out to be a cyst. While those are very much bullet points from those three days – what I want to talk about is what I learned from that experience. I know there are many rosie readers who have had similar…
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Jealousy is a powerful emotion. I think it’s something we all feel, but it’s not something we talk about very much. No one is ever proud to announce that they’re jealous of someone else. After all, jealousy usually stems from a sense of lack and fear, so it also reveals other insecurities. Depending on your level of self-awareness or the image that you maintain, that’s not really a good look. If you’ve ever felt jealous and yucky about it—or perhaps you struggle with jealousy—this post might provide you with a little perspective. What if you could simply choose a new alternative to this seemingly all-consuming emotion? We can start by…
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Who you let into your life is important. We might not always realize it right away, but the people we allow ourselves to be around influence us—sometimes more than we know. As humans, we can’t help but learn from each other. That’s why being mindful about who gets access to your energy isn’t just a nice idea—it’s necessary. Being discerning with my time and energy is something I’ve been actively working on. This post is a reflection on the importance of being choosy about who you share your time with—whether it’s a romantic partner, a close friend, or even someone you only see at work. Your time and energy are…
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There is always so much going on; most of us have a running to-do list that is a mile long. We’ve got deadlines to meet, errands to run, and don’t forget to clean the house because we’ve got company coming tomorrow. Of course, tending to our responsibilities is important. That also means that sometimes in life we have to sacrifice certain things to ensure that our responsibilities are met first. However, there’s something that you should consider when you think about how busy you are, and how you’re rushing around to get things done. Remember to take a break, remember to be present. Be conscious of how you use your…
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How many people do we meet over the course of our lives? Sometimes those people are with us throughout our whole lives, and sometimes they are only with us for the short term. However long the stay, everyone has something to teach us. The goal for this post is to remind folks to consider the greater good of their life journey when someone in their life chooses to exit. I tend to look at the end of a relationship as the end of a life lesson; what has that person taught me? Different people are meant to show you certain things. Someone who oversteps your boundaries may be teaching you…
