Introduction: The One Person You’re Always With

Relationships require trust. Think about the people in your life that you trust the most. Why do you trust them?

Usually it’s because of a combination of things. People who we view as trustworthy show up for us, they keep their word and they support us. These people make us feel safe, and they are consistent in our lives.

Now, let’s turn that mirror on ourselves. Ask yourself:

Do you offer yourself that same level of trust?

Do you show up for yourself, rain or shine? Are you dedicated to your personal growth and happiness?

The longest relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. So the question is: are you becoming someone you can rely on?

Many people spend years trying to become someone others can count on, yes they forget they deserve that from themselves as well.

Self-Trust Is Built Through Keeping Promises to Yourself

Talk about how self-trust isn’t created through one big moment. It’s not something that you just decide you have: it’s built, and it takes time.

We build self-trust through small choices, made consistently.

Every time you say:

“I’m going to do this.”

And then you follow through with it, you teach yourself:

“I can trust myself.”

For instance:

Going to bed when you said you would
Taking care of your body in a way that’s best for you
Applying for the opportunity
Setting the boundary
Making time for something important
Following through on goals

Confidence doesn’t come from waiting until you feel ready. Confidence comes from showing yourself that you can do hard things.

Stop Abandoning Yourself

Of course, in order to really be someone we can really count on – we must stop abandoning ourselves.

Sometimes we abandon ourselves and we don’t realize we are doing it, sometimes we do it out of fear. While there are many examples, self-abandonment can look like:

Ignoring your needs, or making them less important than someone else’s
Choosing what everyone else wants over what you want
Breaking promises to yourself repeatedly
Staying in situations that don’t align with you
Not listening to your own intuition

Every time you ignore yourself, you send yourself a message. Every time you honor yourself, you send yourself a different one.

Becoming someone you can count on means asking:

What do I need?
What matters to me?
What choice would make me proud of myself?

And honoring what comes up for you.

Self-Respect Is How You Show Yourself You Matter

Self-respect is not just a feeling.

It is demonstrated through your actions.

It looks like:

Taking Care of Your Body

You can show yourself respect by eating foods that nourish your body, and declining folds that you don’t like, or don’t want at that time.

Prioritizing healthy sleep and rest is an example of self-care and self-respect.

You can also respect yourself by listening to your body and moving it, giving it exercise when it needs to.

We don’t do these things from a place of punishment, but from respect.

Taking care of yourself is not something you do because you hate yourself enough to change. It is something you do because you value yourself enough to care.

Showing Up for Yourself

Self-respect looks like:

Keeping commitments to yourself and doing your best
Creating a life you enjoy, and prioritizing fun
Speaking kindly to yourself, and treating yourself with patience and care
Making choices aligned with your values, and are within your boundaries.

Presenting Yourself in a Way That Feels Good

This is not about perfection or appearance.

It’s about feeling connected to yourself.

We can start by wearing clothes that make you feel confident. Ensuring your environment is clean and tidy, and a nice place to spend your time. It is also helpful to create routines that support you.

The way you treat yourself teaches you what you believe you are worth.

Self-Respect Teaches Others How to Treat You

This is directly connected to boundaries.

People often want others to respect them, although they do not respect themselves.

For example, if we constantly:

Say yes when we mean no,
Allow people to cross our boundaries, or
Ignore our own needs

We are teaching not only ourselves, but other people, that your needs come second.

Boundaries are not about controlling other people. They are about showing yourself that your needs matter.

While respecting yourself does not guarantee everyone will respect you, it does change what you tolerate.

Confidence Comes From Believing in Yourself

Everyone wants to be more confident. It’s a commonly searched topic, and it feels good to be confident. However, let’s be clear on what confidence actually is:

Confidence is not never doubting yourself, or always feeling good about your decisions, or yourself. It’s also not about never being afraid or having everything figured out.

Confidence is fluid, and it can change by the day.

Confidence can be seen when you trust yourself through times of uncertainty.

It comes in the form of knowing you can handle challenges, and in believing that you will be okay no matter what.

This feeling ebbs and flows, and every time you choose yourself – you strengthen it.

You build confidence by taking risks, and believing in yourself all the way to the outcome. Each time you see that you made it through and overcame a challenge, that helps build your sense of confidence.

When you listen to your intuition and honor your needs, you increase your own sense of value and worth, which increases your confidence.

Making decisions based on your values and boundaries and following through with them, positively impacts your self-esteem.

And of course, getting back up after you fall down, shows you that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Trust Yourself – You Have Evidence That You Can

Think about everything you’ve already been through.

Remember the moments you thought:

“I don’t know if I can do this.”
“I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
“I don’t know how this will work out.”

And yet:

You made it.

You adapted, you learned, and you grew.

You are not building trust with a stranger. You are building trust with someone who has already carried you through every difficult moment of your life. You know that you have your back no matter what.

Becoming Someone You Can Count On Doesn’t Mean Being Perfect

Important reminder.

Avoid creating another standard you feel you need to achieve.

Be aware, even with all the confidence in the world, you will still:

Have hard days, experience challenges
Make mistakes
Change your mind
Fall off track

Being someone you can count on means:

You get through the challenges and mistakes, and you learn from them.

You change your mind and give yourself grace; you are considerate of your needs.

You forgive yourself.

You try again.

Trust isn’t built by never letting yourself down. Trust is built by showing yourself that you will always come back.

Actionable Steps to Become Someone You Can Count On

1. Make Small Promises and Keep Them

Start simple.

You may want to begin by:

Drinking more water
Taking a walk every day
Going to sleep at a reasonable time
Spending 10 minutes doing something meaningful

Small promises create big trust,

2. Listen to Yourself Before Looking Outside

Before asking other people:

“What should I do?”

Check in with yourself first, and ask:

“What do I think?”

“What do I need?”

“What feels right for me?”

3. Create a Personal Standard

Ask yourself:

How do I want to treat myself?
What kind of relationship do I want with myself?
What behaviors align with that?

4. Speak to Yourself Like Someone You Love

Notice your internal dialogue.

Would you talk to someone you care about the way you talk to yourself?

5. Reflect on Your Growth

Keep evidence, take notes.

Some things you could write down include:

Challenges you’ve overcome
Times you trusted yourself
Moments you were proud of yourself

Remind yourself:

“I have done hard things before.”

Conclusion: Come Home to Yourself

At the end of the day, the person you need to be able to count on the most is yourself.

Not because you will never need anyone else, or because you have to do everything alone.

But because the relationship you have with yourself shapes every other relationship, every decision, and every step you take in life.

Keep your promises to yourself.

Listen to yourself.

Respect yourself, choose yourself, trust yourself.

Because when you become someone you can count on, you build something no one else can take away from you:

A relationship with yourself that feels safe, strong, and unshakable.

Resources If you’d like to learn more about closure, check out these links:

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