The longest and most important relationship you will ever have – is the one you have with yourself. We often prioritize our relationships with others – a romantic partner, our family, or our friend groups. We care deeply about how we’re perceived and received by others, yet we rarely stop to think about how we feel about ourselves. Some of us outsource our validation – our acceptance and sense of safety – to those around us. We decide how we feel about ourselves based on how others feel about us. While being open to feedback is wise and helpful during reflection, it can’t be the sole source of our well-being.…
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When you think about going to a therapist, at least on a broad spectrum, the question ‘how does that make you feel?‘ might come up for you at some point. Albeit a little stereotypical, it’s a really powerful question. Asking yourself how you feel is essentially what happens when you tune in. When you pause and check in with yourself, you see how you’re feeling in the moment – with the goal of responding appropriately and consciously. This question helps you to know how to tune in to your emotions for personal growth. “How do you feel?” may be the most important question you ask yourself. Knowing how you feel…
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When was the last time you were upset about something? Maybe you had a fight with a friend or colleague. Maybe you had a breakup, or someone slighted you in public. Whatever the case may be, it’s likely that there have been times in your life where someone hurt you – and you had to move on. Moving on from conflict can be difficult, especially when there’s a lot of emotional charge attached to it. The end of a long-term romantic relationship, the betrayal of what was once a strong friendship, or misunderstandings with a family member can all leave lasting effects. Feelings of anger, injustice, shame, embarrassment – or…
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The universe communicates with me all the time. Sometimes in “mysterious ways,” sometimes in ways that are so direct it’s undeniable. Synchronicities show up, such as numbers on a clock, the perfect lyrics in a song, or even through conversations with others. We can always learn and grow and expand – even in moments when someone directs a throwaway comment our way. Sometimes what feels meaningless to one person can drastically impact another’s life. Maybe our higher power speaks to us in all kinds of ways – if we only listen. There are messages in times that are happy and growth-filled, and other times, when we feel lonely and unseen.…
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Have you ever been in a group setting, and everyone is chatting, and the atmosphere is light – and then enter that one person who just can’t read a room? This person stands out like a sore thumb, energetically. They are up when everyone else is down, down when everyone else is up. Bringing up a conversation that ended, not that long ago – with the same content. Typically this person makes the air a little awkward, or otherwise uncomfortable for everyone around. It’s almost as if you want to get their attention and say something like “Hey! Look around!” because nothing they’re doing or saying is in alignment with…
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Interestingly enough, I had never really thought about my self-worth much at all until recently. That meant I didn’t even really know what self-worth was, or quite how to answer how I felt about my own. So what did that look like in my relationships and how I showed up in life? I didn’t realize I was doing this, but I was tying how the people felt about me – to my perception of my value. I let other people – how they treated me, their questions, comments, concerns (or lack thereof)- determine how I felt about myself. How exhausting: constantly jumping from one set of eyes to another, scanning…
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Everyone craves validation. People want to feel like they matter – that they’re important, attractive, successful, and ultimately acceptable to the group. Validation, whether it comes from within or from others, mirrors our emotions and inner world. It helps us know that we’re okay. You can think of validation as emotional feedback. When we’re infants, we look into our caregivers’ eyes for confirmation that we’re safe and that we matter. As we grow, the smile a parent gives us when we seek reassurance, the friend who listens when we need to talk, or the encouragement from a teacher when we’re struggling – all of these are forms of reassurance. They’re…
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When you look at a situation, ask yourself – how would I like to respond?When you give yourself even a brief moment to tune in to how you’re actually feeling, you create space – and in that space, you gain choice. In this post, I want to talk about embracing things as they happen – as a way of choosing empowerment, quieting fear, and moving more smoothly from one part of your journey to another. Life will always hand us the unexpected – delays, detours, moments that don’t go according to plan. But when you lean into those moments with grace and faith in yourself, your entire experience begins to…
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The less you expect from someone, the more space you allow for them to be themselves. In any relationship, we often have expectations. Whether those expectations are of a certain moral, ethical, emotional, or physical standard – sometimes we just want people to do what we want them to do. It’s natural for humans to want to control their situation and environment; it makes us feel safe. However, if what you’re looking for is a real, authentic connection, letting go of the need for control is key to achieving that. Let go of your expectations for a specific outcome, and allow the universe to meet you there. What happens when…
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I was having a conversation with someone recently when they just started talking – and they didn’t stop for what seemed like a long time. I didn’t really know this person, and while they seemed nice, they just kept talking about themselves. They went on and on about what was going on in their personal life, and then went even deeper into their past, speaking about domestic violence and family drama. I’m okay with listening if someone needs to talk – I understand that sometimes people just need that. But it made me think about oversharing. I thought back to times when I’ve overshared, and other experiences I’ve had where…
