Boundaries as Life Practice Boundaries are about how you live your life. It’s a true statement. Before I even knew what boundaries were, I realized that I sort of just floated through my life and reacted to whatever felt the least threatening. I was afraid of everything, and I desperately wanted to know that I belonged to the group. In fact, I thought for the longest time that being rejected from the group was possibly the worst thing that could happen. After understanding my boundaries, it’s almost become fun to think about things and what my boundaries are around them. Knowing my boundaries means I know myself; I know what…
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I was talking with a friend the other day about how easy it is to just sit and scroll on your phone. You open it to check something, and suddenly fifteen minutes, a half hour, or more has gone by. There’s always something vying for our attention. Sometimes, we just focus on whichever voice is the loudest, object is the shiniest, or gossip is the juiciest — often without even realizing it. Other times, we might be feeling insecure, anxious, or uncertain. We question ourselves or worry if we did the right thing. For some, this kind of thinking leads to ruminating and spiraling into even more self-doubt. What you…
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Attention is the main currency in any situation. When you’re a child, you want your caregivers to look — look at what you did, look at what you found, look at you. As you get older, attention shows up as recognition in school or sports, where suddenly everyone is looking at you. When you are acknowledged in different areas of your life, people “take a look” at your accomplishments, and for a moment, the room’s attention is on you. Of course, things happen whether we are looking at them or not — but our attention to something, often in the form of physically looking, is what gives it weight, meaning,…
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Over the years, I’ve crossed paths with people who held different levels of responsibility in their work. They weren’t celebrities or familiar names, but they were people who played roles that shaped the companies and teams around them. Some had built decades-long careers, growing with their companies one step at a time. Some folks were just stepping into larger leadership roles. What stood out to me was never quite their title — it was how they showed up, what they brought to the table, and how they made other people feel. Once, I heard a man speak just before retiring after nearly fifty years with the same company. He had…
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Your relationship with yourself is so important. We often prioritize our relationships with others — a romantic partner, our family, or our friend groups. We care deeply about how we’re perceived and received by others, yet we rarely stop to think about how we feel about ourselves. Some of us outsource our validation — our acceptance and sense of safety — to those around us. We decide how we feel about ourselves based on how others feel about us. While being open to feedback is wise and helpful during reflection, it can’t be the sole source of our well-being. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other connection…
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The universe communicates with me all the time. Sometimes in “mysterious ways,” sometimes in ways that are so direct it’s undeniable. Synchronicities show up, such as numbers on a clock, the perfect lyrics in a song, or even through conversations with others. We can always learn and grow and expand — even in moments when someone directs a throwaway comment our way. Sometimes what feels meaningless to one person can drastically impact another’s life. Maybe our higher power speaks to us in all kinds of ways — we just have to be open to looking for it. There are messages in times that are happy and growth-filled, and other times,…
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For some of us, the concept of boundaries and standards might be a confusing topic. Some folks might be unsure of their boundaries, they might not know how to set them. They might not even really be clear on what their boundaries and standards are. Boundaries are more than just what someone is comfortable with. You can think of boundaries in the same way you think about the fence around a yard, the moat around a castle, and the walls of your home. Boundaries define what’s yours — they are the point where you end and someone else begins. Our boundaries protect our energy, they help us remember who we…
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Everyone craves validation. People want to feel like they matter—that they’re important, attractive, successful, and ultimately acceptable to the group. Validation, whether it comes from within or from others, mirrors our emotions and inner world. It helps us know that we’re okay. You can think of validation as emotional feedback. When we’re infants, we look into our caregivers’ eyes for confirmation that we’re safe and that we matter. As we grow, the smile a parent gives us when we seek reassurance, the friend who listens when we need to talk, or the encouragement from a teacher when we’re struggling—all of these are forms of reassurance. They’re the building blocks of…
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I was having a conversation with someone recently when they just started talking — and they didn’t stop for what seemed like a long time. I didn’t really know this person, and while they seemed nice, they just kept talking about themselves. They went on and on about what was going on in their personal life, and then went even deeper into their past, speaking about domestic violence and family drama. I’m okay with listening if someone needs to talk — I understand that sometimes people just need that. But it made me think about oversharing. I thought back to times when I’ve overshared, and other experiences I’ve had where…
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I was with a couple of friends recently. They were talking about some home renovations they were making, when one asked the other, “What if so-and-so moved in next to you?”. Without missing a beat, my friend replied, “I would move.” They both laughed at the idea, and then the one responded with, “Wow, they have a lot of power over you.” I thought about that quite a bit. What does it mean to let someone have power over you? I’ve actually heard that phrase all throughout my life. From middle school, to college and even in my adult life. Some advice that’s been consistently given to me is “don’t…
