Becoming It First: Create the Life You Want From the Inside Out

by Susie on March 25, 2025

Posted in Emotional Well-Being, Mental Health and Self-Care, Perspective and Growth

Create the Life You Want From the Inside Out

If you want something in your life, you have to become it first. If you crave love, you must become love. What does that love look like? How does it act? How does it feel to have that love you’re currently craving? If you need guidance, you must guide yourself. Read books, listen to podcasts, learn what you need to learn. Give yourself encouragement. If you desire strength, you must build it within. You can create the life you want, if you just show up for yourself. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself.

The outside world is only ever a reflection of what’s happening inside you. And when you stop looking for something or someone to complete you and start giving yourself what you need, you become unstoppable.

Be the Love You’re Looking For

Many of us live our lives feeling like there’s something missing. Maybe you don’t have the deep, unconditional love you long for. Maybe you feel unseen, unsupported, or alone. Maybe you’re waiting for the right person to come along and prove to you that you’re worthy of being loved that way.

But what if you didn’t have to wait? What if you became that love for yourself?

How Do You Become It First?

If you want to create the life you want, it starts with a choice. Becoming it first begins with the choice to provide yourself with what you need, on your own terms. It’s about examining the story you’re telling yourself about what it is you want, and making the commitment to take consistent action until you achieve your goal.

Notice Your Internal Dialogue – Monitor the voices in your head and ensure they are supportive. At the very least, don’t let them be a negative influence on your self-growth journey.
Show Up for Yourself – The more you consistently provide what it is you’re looking for, the more you realize you can trust and believe in yourself.
Value Yourself – Treat yourself with the gentleness, patience, and compassion you crave.
Express Yourself – Journal your thoughts and practice affirmations for self-worth and healing.

Be the Parent You Never Had

If you’re like many of us, you probably have a wounded inner child that needs healing. Not everyone was fortunate enough to grow up with emotionally supportive parents. If your mother didn’t make you feel safe or your father didn’t encourage you, it can feel like a deep loss.

But healing is possible. You can provide those nurturing feelings for yourself now and support your inner child.

If you needed a gentle mother, be gentle with yourself.
If you needed a father who believed in you, start believing in yourself.
If you needed to hear “I’m proud of you,” say it to yourself, often and sincerely.

The past may be unchangeable, but your future is still yours to shape. By learning how to give yourself the love and validation you never received, you break the cycle of emotional neglect and step into personal empowerment.

The Life You Want Requires Focus

Becoming the person you want to be takes time, effort, and consistency. It requires showing up for yourself. Long-term transformation requires practice and perseverance. It’s not just about learning concepts of healing; it’s about taking real action.

Change requires consistent effort. Take everything you’ve learned and put it into practice until it becomes your default way of being. You may stumble into old habits—this is when you give yourself grace. You might not see immediate results—this is when you keep going.

Ask yourself:

What do I want?
What do I want to feel?
How can I create and nurture this feeling right now?
How can I change my mindset to feel better about my current situation?

Put It Into Action

Committing to your personal growth by becoming what you seek is a profound act of healing. Through this process, you learn about your strength, your self-worth, and your capacity for love.

Every time you choose yourself, you move closer to becoming your most authentic self.

It starts with your self-talk. It starts with how you show up for yourself. It’s found in the small choices you make every day.

The life you want isn’t something outside of you—it’s already within you. You simply need to claim it. So go ahead. Become the love. Become the strength. Become the wisdom, the belief, and the encouragement you’ve been waiting for.

You can become everything you’ve ever needed, because you are already enough.

Resources If you’d like to learn more about showing up for yourself and becoming it first, check out this link:

NPR: An Illustrated Guide to Showing Up for Yourself

Want more healing tools and insights? Subscribe to the blog for compassionate, practical guidance on emotional wellness, boundaries, and getting closer to your authentic self.