Introduction: Why Do We Feel the Need to Respond to Everything? How do you respond to instances where you feel that you may have been disrespected, or overlooked? Sometimes triggering events, no matter how small – make us feel that we need to do something about it. Maybe someone took your seat after you got up, maybe you heard someone say something that upset you. Many times, we have this automatic pull to explain, or defend ourselves. We might feel the need to correct the other person, so we can ensure they have the right view of us. We may be triggered to prove ourselves. Yet, if we take just…
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Introduction: What If You Could Want Something Without Needing It? Have you ever wanted something so badly that it consumed you? Sometimes we can get caught up, and maybe even lose ourselves in things like a relationship, a job opportunity, or someone’s approval. We might find ourselves setting a goal, and then obsessing over that outcome; more specifically what we want that outcome to be. We may even become consumed by a version of our lives that we believe will finally make us happy, the idea of arriving. If you look back, you may notice that the more you wanted it, the more anxious you became. Oftentimes, the more pressure…
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Introduction: The Moment You Realize You Matter Too How often have you ignored your own needs because you were worried about how someone else would feel? We are so busy, all of us – we’ve got things to do, lists a mile long, and people depending on us. In fact, sometimes we are taught to prioritize things like being helpful, and ensuring we are available when someone needs us. We do everything we can to avoid disappointing people, or being difficult, or making anyone uncomfortable. Over time, some people become so focused on being there for everyone else that they forget to ask: Am I there for myself? Choosing yourself…
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The Strange Fear of Letting Go Overthinking is the worst. It takes up your time and valuable space in your mind. Sometimes we get in our heads over the most insignificant thing – and it can run away with us. What if something bad happens? What if this happens? What if that happens? If we struggle with worry and overthinking, we often resort to the worst-case scenario almost instantly. Maybe for some of us, we ruminate for days or more on the same subject. We might think about every possible outcome until we’re sure we’ve thought of everything. Being in worry makes us feel like we’re doing something. Sometimes worrying…
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There’s always something to do. There’s always somewhere to be, something that needs your attention. With busy schedules, work, school, house repairs, and other life responsibilities, there’s always the temptation to just “push through” the mental stress and keep going. You’re expected to keep going, meet your responsibilities, tend to your relationships, and improve yourself physically and mentally. That’s a lot. Don’t forget to rest. Taking time for yourself, being comfortable, and allowing your nervous system the opportunity to calm down is just as – if not more – important than getting all of those other things done. Check out Slow Down: How to Stay Present When Life is Busy …
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Before getting to know myself, detachment was not something that was available to me. Realistically, detachment was something I had heard about on YouTube. I learned about the idea of it from Buddhism, but I had never felt this for myself or experienced the freedom that comes with it. It seems like the idea of detachment has several different interpretations among people. Some of us might feel uncomfortable with detachment because it means letting go. If we detach, do we not care? Does that mean we’re being cold? How will our detachment be perceived? Not to mention, detaching from someone or something also means letting go of control over the…
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I was talking with a friend the other day about how easy it is to just sit and scroll on your phone. You open it to check something, and suddenly fifteen minutes, a half hour, or more has gone by. There’s always something vying for our attention. Sometimes, we focus on whichever voice is the loudest, object is the shiniest, or gossip is the juiciest – often without even realizing it. Other times, we might be feeling insecure, anxious, or uncertain. We question ourselves or worry if we did the right thing. For some, this kind of thinking leads to ruminating and spiraling into even more self-doubt. What you focus…
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Attention is the main currency in any situation. When you’re a child, you want your caregivers to look – look at what you did, look at what you found, look at you. As you get older, attention shows up as recognition in school or sports, where suddenly everyone is looking at you. When you are acknowledged in different areas of your life, people “take a look” at your accomplishments, and for a moment, the room’s attention is on you. Of course, things happen whether we are looking at them or not – but our attention to something, often in the form of physically looking, is what gives it weight, meaning,…
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What Are Boundaries and Standards? For some of us, the concept of boundaries and standards might be a confusing topic. Some folks might be unsure of their boundaries, they might not know how to set them. They might not even really be clear on what their boundaries and standards are. Boundaries are more than just what someone is comfortable with. You can think of boundaries in the same way you think about the fence around a yard, the moat around a castle, and the walls of your home. Boundaries define what’s yours – they are the point where you end and someone else begins. Our boundaries protect our energy, they…
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Life keeps going; so do you. So many times in life we are presented with trying situations. Challenges that might make us feel alone, or small, or scared. These little “tests” ask us to be strong, to remember our boundaries, and to stay true to who we are – just like the values Rosie stands for. I remember times in my life when I felt challenged and tried. These are times where the concept of life moving on – whether I was actively participating or not – kept showing up for me. For me, both the ideas of not giving up, and that life keeps going on are intertwined. No…
