I was with a couple of friends recently. They were talking about some home renovations they were making, when one asked the other, “What if so-and-so moved in next to you?”. Without missing a beat, my friend replied, “I would move.” They both laughed at the idea, and then the one responded with, “Wow, they have a lot of power over you.” I thought about that quite a bit. What does it mean to let someone have power over you? I’ve actually heard that phrase all throughout my life. From middle school, to college and even in my adult life. Some advice that’s been consistently given to me is “don’t…
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I took myself to a solo lunch the other day. As I sat there waiting for my food, I played a little game with myself. In this game, I would observe the people around me, and whenever someone inspired me, I’d create a story for them. I’d decide where they were from, how long they’d lived in the area, what their dreams and aspirations might be, what their concerns might be, and how they were connected to the restaurant I was in. Of course, it was all made up in my head. The point of the exercise was to remind myself that other people have their own thoughts and emotions…
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People want certainty. It’s human to want to label and compartmentalize things in our minds so we can feel safe. If we meet someone new, we might call them a friend. Upon trying a new restaurant, we decide if we like it or not. When we go to a new place, we’ll find ways to describe it in relation to places we’ve been. A lot of times, when we make a new decision or feel a new pull, we tend to rush to define it. Whether we’re taking up a new hobby or meeting a potential partner, it’s easy to want to label and categorize our experience quickly. The thing…
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When I was in sixth grade, I was bullied pretty severely. It happened on a daily basis, and it eroded everything about my self-esteem. My bully was an eleven-year-old boy who called me names and encouraged the other kids to taunt me. Many of them would join in. At that time, I didn’t know what to do or what to say, so I did my best to ignore it. By ignoring it, however, that meant he got away with more and more. This went on for the whole school year and eventually became normalized by the kids in my class. I don’t remember most of what was said, but I…
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I used to be really afraid of ghosts. Sounds at night (or even during the day), weird vibes, things moving that shouldn’t – any of it would creep me out immediately. I never wanted to watch scary movies. And I could tell you a few stories about some unexplainable events in my childhood home. I had always just assumed everyone else was afraid of spirits too – especially since you can’t see them. It’s a prime example of fear of the unknown. Plus, based on the messages I was receiving from others, it seemed like most people felt the same way I did. Then one day, I was watching a…
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Jealousy is a powerful emotion. I think it’s something we all feel, but it’s not something we talk about very much. No one is ever proud to announce that they’re jealous of someone else. After all, jealousy usually stems from a sense of lack and fear, so it also reveals other insecurities. Depending on your level of self-awareness or the image that you maintain, that’s not really a good look. If you’ve ever felt jealous and yucky about it – or perhaps you struggle with jealousy – this post might provide you with a little perspective. What if you could simply choose a new alternative to this seemingly all-consuming emotion?…
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If you survived high school, chances are you know about mean girl behavior. You may have had your own mean girl, or you may have been one yourself. These women are difficult, to say the least – manipulative, cold, cruel. And they aren’t only found in high‑school hallways; the mean girl can also show up in adulthood. Unfortunately, people don’t always “grow out” of it. We all know that one woman who can dole out a solid back‑handed compliment or shower you with micro‑aggressions. But what actually is a mean girl? What makes her so mean, and how do we handle being around her without losing our peace? What Is…
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How many people do we meet over the course of our lives? Sometimes those people are with us throughout our whole lives, and sometimes they are only with us for the short term. However long the stay, everyone has something to teach us. The goal for this post is to remind folks to consider the greater good of their life journey when someone in their life chooses to exit. I tend to look at the end of a relationship as the end of a life lesson; what has that person taught me? Different people are meant to show you certain things. Someone who oversteps your boundaries may be teaching you…
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When you stop seeking approval, some people may become uncomfortable around you. The impact that how you feel about yourself has on others is very real. You start living more authentically, standing tall in your truth and being who you are, you might find that people seem different. Maybe someone who once seemed supportive pulls away, becomes critical, or even passive-aggressive. When you stand firm in who you are, you learn that confidence can unsettle others around you. This isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing, although it might sting a little – especially if you aren’t expecting it. You might even feel tempted to make yourself smaller, or revert…
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We talk a lot about using compassion, patience, and understanding as tools for growth – and rightfully so. They’re essential. But one powerful tool that often gets overlooked is curiosity. Approaching situations with curiosity and the intent to learn more can change your whole experience. Asking deeper questions helps you understand the world and yourself. Being open allows you to find the answers you’re looking for, and having curiosity leads to clarity. Use curiosity in place of judgement – judgment closes your mind, while curiosity does the opposite. In fact, curiosity allows you to see everything from a different perspective; it can even be fun if you want it to…
