Before getting to know myself, detachment was not something that was available to me. Realistically, detachment was something I had heard about on YouTube. I learned about the idea of it from Buddhism, but I had never felt this for myself or experienced the freedom that comes with it. It seems like the idea of detachment has several different interpretations among people. Some of us might feel uncomfortable with detachment because it means letting go. If we detach, do we not care? Does that mean we’re being cold? How will our detachment be perceived? Not to mention, detaching from someone or something also means letting go of control over the…
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For the introduction of this post, I was trying to think of a time when I had to deal with a difficult person. Then I thought, how do I narrow it down? We’ve all dealt with difficult people, whether at work, at home, the grocery store, or the dining room table. Sometimes we just have differing opinions; other times it’s a matter of personalities that just don’t mesh. Either way, when we meet people that test our patience, we have a choice in how we respond to them. Check out Everyone Has Something to Teach Us Growing up, I had some bullies, and the girls in my class would exclude…
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Have you ever been in a group setting, and everyone is chatting, and the atmosphere is light – and then enter that one person who just can’t read a room? This person stands out like a sore thumb, energetically. They are up when everyone else is down, down when everyone else is up. Bringing up a conversation that ended, not that long ago – with the same content. Typically this person makes the air a little awkward, or otherwise uncomfortable for everyone around. It’s almost as if you want to get their attention and say something like “Hey! Look around!” because nothing they’re doing or saying is in alignment with…
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Everyone craves validation. People want to feel like they matter – that they’re important, attractive, successful, and ultimately acceptable to the group. Validation, whether it comes from within or from others, mirrors our emotions and inner world. It helps us know that we’re okay. You can think of validation as emotional feedback. When we’re infants, we look into our caregivers’ eyes for confirmation that we’re safe and that we matter. As we grow, the smile a parent gives us when we seek reassurance, the friend who listens when we need to talk, or the encouragement from a teacher when we’re struggling – all of these are forms of reassurance. They’re…
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When you look at a situation, ask yourself – how would I like to respond?When you give yourself even a brief moment to tune in to how you’re actually feeling, you create space – and in that space, you gain choice. In this post, I want to talk about embracing things as they happen – as a way of choosing empowerment, quieting fear, and moving more smoothly from one part of your journey to another. Life will always hand us the unexpected – delays, detours, moments that don’t go according to plan. But when you lean into those moments with grace and faith in yourself, your entire experience begins to…
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The less you expect from someone, the more space you allow for them to be themselves. In any relationship, we often have expectations. Whether those expectations are of a certain moral, ethical, emotional, or physical standard – sometimes we just want people to do what we want them to do. It’s natural for humans to want to control their situation and environment; it makes us feel safe. However, if what you’re looking for is a real, authentic connection, letting go of the need for control is key to achieving that. Let go of your expectations for a specific outcome, and allow the universe to meet you there. What happens when…
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I was once told that people come into your life as you need them, and they exit your life as you don’t. When we talk about friendship, it’s usually framed as something that should last a lifetime – but rarely do we acknowledge the seasons that come with it. In most cases, forever isn’t how it goes. Throughout my life, I have made and lost many friends. Some I thought would be there for the long haul; others left over the smallest details. Often, I found myself wondering why it happened, feeling sad, internalizing their actions, and holding onto bitterness for a while. As life would have it, friends don’t…
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I was having a conversation with someone recently when they just started talking – and they didn’t stop for what seemed like a long time. I didn’t really know this person, and while they seemed nice, they just kept talking about themselves. They went on and on about what was going on in their personal life, and then went even deeper into their past, speaking about domestic violence and family drama. I’m okay with listening if someone needs to talk – I understand that sometimes people just need that. But it made me think about oversharing. I thought back to times when I’ve overshared, and other experiences I’ve had where…
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From an early age, we are taught that the way people view us is important. Being around other kids is when we first learn that how we are perceived often influences how others treat us. Some of us may have even received direct messages from parents or caregivers that image matters. While those messages aren’t necessarily wrong, the nuance often gets lost in translation. When you receive messages of external validation as a child – or at a time when independent thought isn’t fully developed – your self-image can become skewed. We might place too much emphasis on the opinions of others. Having a clean reputation and a good public…
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There are so many things we do all the time – simply out of obligation. We might feel pressured by societal norms, our friends’ opinions, or the expectations of family. We might be afraid of doing something “wrong,” hurting someone’s feelings, or inconveniencing them. Sometimes it feels like there’s no other choice – like one way is the “right” way – or we want to maintain a certain outward appearance. Other times, we feel obligated because we were told to, or we never stopped to question how we actually felt. When we act in a way that is better for someone else, than for our own wellbeing, we risk making…
