When we imagine healing, many of us picture something soft. We might expect lightness, peace, or a specific kind of clarity. Eventually, yes, those things do come. However, in the beginning – and often right in the thick of it – healing can feel like a flood of emotions. It can feel overwhelming and we can sense it in places we didn’t even know we were holding pain. Something that doesn’t get talked about quite as much, is that healing sometimes hurts, too.
Sometimes, healing can feel a little confusing. You might find yourself thinking, “Why does this hurt more now? Shouldn’t I feel better? Isn’t healing supposed to help me, not make things feel worse?”
These are valid questions. The reality is, you might feel more as you let go of old trauma. This isn’t because something is wrong, but because now you’re feeling emotions that were formerly repressed.
Feeling More Isn’t a Setback – It’s a Shift
When you’re in survival mode, your body does everything it can to protect you. It builds big, strong walls, goes numb, and suppresses emotions as far as possible, in an attempt to keep you from feeling pain. Emotional pain quickly gets pushed down and stored away; there’s no space to sit with those emotions, let alone process them. Your nervous system prioritizes safety over your emotional health..
Healing happens, however, when you run toward your pain – not away from it.
So, when your environment changes, or you start working on yourself, spending time with yourself and healing – your body begins to feel safer. You teach yourself that you can let your guard down a little bit, and eventually your nervous system begins to relax. In that space, where your emotions that were once repressed and ignored slowly start to show themselves. You begin to feel your emotions more fully, because your body finally feels safe enough to let you.
This shift is a beautiful thing, and a sign of growth. It can also mean that you feel more things like exhaustion, grief, irritation, and emotional overwhelm.
The Unseen Work of Safety
For years, you may have gone through the motions of life while at the same time carrying varying amounts of emotional weight. Perhaps you kept it together, when others would have been devastated, or you stayed cool and calm when someone hurt you. Nevermind you did it because you shut down and couldn’t speak or you dissociated in the moment. Maybe you called yourself “strong”, when you meant to say “numb”.
This, too, is a form of protection.
Now, as healing begins to work itself out, your body may say, “It’s okay now. We can look at this. We can feel it.”
And that’s when the emotions hit you like never before.
Suddenly you feel a lump in your throat over a seemingly minor disagreement. Your chest tightens in response to something your friend says. A memory you thought was long behind you reminds you that it’s still there. You start to cry during a commercial, feel tired after a difficult conversation, or feel a depth of sadness that doesn’t quite match the moment.
This is not emotional instability. It’s not regressing on your journey. It’s a sign that your capacity to process emotion is coming back online.
Your emotions are waking up.
You Might Think You’re Getting Worse
There’s a particular kind of grief that comes with feeling things you once didn’t have access to. It can feel like loss, or confusion. It might feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest.
Some folks notice that they feel a bit disoriented at times. You might find yourself thinking, “I used to handle this just fine – why am I suddenly crying in this random bathroom?”
The answer is that you weren’t actually handling it; you were holding it in. Now that you’re releasing it, it’s moving through you instead of staying stored in your body.
Releasing emotions might look like:
- Crying more often than usual, or at seemingly unusual times
- Having flashbacks or vivid memories
- Feeling extra tired or ‘foggy’
- Feeling particularly sensitive or emotional
- Feeling vulnerable in general, and uncomfortable as a result.
Don’t worry, you’re not doing anything wrong, here. It’s your body clearing out that old, stuck energy.
Being Sensitive Is a Sign of Strength
Many of us were taught to equate emotional sensitivity with weakness. We were praised for being “tough,” or “strong” in the way that meant we didn’t show emotion. Healing on the other hand, requires something different. It requires us to feel, not perform, or shut down, or excuse.
Sensitivity, in this new light, is actually presence. It means you are no longer avoiding yourself. You are no longer ignoring the parts of you that are hurting. You are staying with yourself through the discomfort.
This is some of the bravest work you will ever do.
Your Body Is Telling You Something, Listen
Emotion is energy in motion. When we suppress it, it doesn’t go away – it waits. Healing invites the body to release that energy that was buried so far down, so long ago.
Listen, crying more is not a sign that you are regressing, or that you’ve gotten ‘too soft’. . Things like shaking, exhaustion, agitation – these are signs of movement. Your subconscious is releasing stored emotions and your body is adjusting.
Instead of asking, “Why do I feel worse?” you can ask:
- What is coming up for me now that might not have been available to me before?
- How exactly do I feel?
- Can I stay with this emotion and feel it longer, to see even more what it has to say?
Ways to Support Yourself When You Feel More Deeply
When more emotions start coming up for you during your healing process, it’s important to meet yourself with care. These moments are invitations for gentleness, do not judge yourself, do not doubt yourself. Your job right now is to just allow.
Here are a few ways to support yourself:
1. Slow Down
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, give yourself permission to pause. Whatever it is, can wait. Your well-being is worth prioritizing.
2. Find Grounding Practices That Work for You
There are a lot of different ways to ground yourself. Grounding can be as simple as touching something textured, stepping outside, wrapping yourself in a blanket, or placing a hand over your heart. Come back to your body gently.
3. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling Without Needing to Take Action
You don’t have to act on every emotion that you have, but you should take a moment to acknowledge your emotions as they arise. Say hello, spend some time with them – see what they have to say.
4. Move the Energy
Sometimes we need to process our emotions not only through thought, but also through movement. Stretching, walking, dancing, even humming can support your body during times of stress.
5. Let Yourself Be Held
Whether it’s through friendship, therapy, community, or even a pet – healing doesn’t have to happen alone. We are social creatures and can find even more healing through connection.
This Is What It Means to Come Home to Yourself
The pain you feel isn’t a detour from healing – it is healing. The tears, the tiredness, the intensity – these are signs that something is changing, that something is shifting. It’s a sign that you are no longer leaving yourself behind.
If you’re on a healing journey of your own, know this: you’re doing great. You are not doing it wrong. You are not broken. You are not too sensitive. You are meeting your needs and acknowledging parts of yourself, sometimes for the very first time.
And what an honor it is, to meet the real you.
It will not always feel this intense. There will be calm, there will be laughter; things will get easier. But for now, remember that this part of your process is very important and quite special in its own way. Let it be honored.
You deserve to be met with tenderness, especially by yourself.
Are you on a healing journey? Have you ever experienced the growing pains that can come along with healing? Share your story in the comments below! Let’s talk about healing!
Related Reads:
Where Insecurities Come From: How to Heal Self-Worth and Build Self-Esteem,
How to Be Okay with Rejection: You Don’t Need to People Please, Understanding Emotions: The Key to Personal Growth and Healing
Resources If you’d like to learn more about emotional healing, check out these links:
- Cityscape Counseling: The Truth About the Healing Process
- Liberation Healing Seattle: 6 Signs You May Notice as You’re Healing from Trauma
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