Generally speaking, most people only ever think of a power move within the context of aggression or manipulation. In discussion, these moves are usually referenced when someone asserts dominance or control at the expense of someone else. In fact, this might be the only context where the term “power move” comes up.
But—what if we chose to use our power to help people? To lift others up rather than push them down to “assert dominance”?
The reality is, you can be more powerful than someone, and that standing never actually needs to be acknowledged.
What if we thought of power moves differently?
The Traditional View of “Power Moves”
In my experience, if I’ve ever talked with someone about a power move, it was usually in a negative context.
Power moves are generally thought of as any action someone takes to assert dominance or control. Usually, it’s to “get ahead” in some way, and it tends to include the implication that somebody “below” them gets hurt.
You can see power moves all the time in politics: people wanting to get their point across, win approval, or take somebody else’s job. All of these passions can cause a person to act in ways that are manipulative and hurtful just to get what they want.
Power doesn’t have to regard the hostile takeover of a company, or the withholding of affection to punish a loved one. These ideas are emotionally charged, and they make for entertaining stories. They are also only one perspective of power.
The problem with these power moves—and with those who assert dominance in order to hurt others—is that these moves come from a place of ego, fear, competition, and insecurity. These examples of “power,” when used to harm others, often come from a place of weakness.
Why Not Positivity?
We tend to think of power as something other people have—something that “people in power” possess and use for their own self-serving purposes. Power, in and of itself, is actually neutral. It’s a catalyst.
What that means is that with power, it’s the intention and the action behind it that determine whether it becomes positive or negative.
Power also doesn’t always have to be talked about with regard to a king mistreating his subjects, a mean girl targeting a friend you just got into a fight with, or a controlling parent getting in the way of their child’s plans.
In the context of day-to-day life, every choice you make requires a certain amount of energy. When you interact with your neighbor, plan your day, make decisions, and set goals—all of those things require energy. If you’re going to expend that energy, why not send it in the direction of positivity and love?
A New Definition of Power
What if power was more about authenticity, integrity, and aligned confidence?
Real power amplifies the choices you make with it. It can be found within yourself when you have the courage to move through tough circumstances, when you choose to align with your values rather than doing what’s easy, and when you refuse to abandon yourself by living according to your own standards and boundaries.
Feeling the power of living in your own body, unapologetically taking up space and showing up in a way that best represents who you are, is freeing.
Meeting this kind of power can be challenging because it requires work. Knowing yourself to the point where you are consistently living out your authenticity requires time, effort, courage, consistency, and dedication to yourself. The freedom and empowerment that follow are your reward.
What if the real power move is simply being who you are and embracing your authentic self?
Power Moves That Uplift Others
What if power moves were more about self-control, integrity, authenticity, and maintaining your values? What if how powerful someone is was measured by how much they give back to those around them?
Below are some examples of positive power moves:
Being Unapologetically Authentic
Unapologetic authenticity is a huge power move for so many reasons. When you are true to who you are, regardless of opinion, you tell your subconscious (and others) that you don’t need external validation. You can rely on your own inner sense of validation to move through the world. You are more present and honest, and your authenticity invites those around you to do the same.
Just by being who you are, you can inspire the best in other people—which is an incredibly powerful thing to do.
Lifting Others Up
We all want to do our best, we all want to be accepted, and we all want to be seen.
Use your power to show people that their best is good enough, and to keep going. Use your power to make sure those around you know they are important. Tell your friends you love them. Use your power to make people feel accepted rather than rejected. Moves like this have lasting, positive effects that compound over time.
Choosing Integrity Over Ego
Instead of making a choice based on scarcity or fear, make your choices based on your values.
In typical power scenarios, people in power might act from ego—putting other folks below them, stepping on them, and disregarding their feelings. These actions are easy, they’re cheap, and in reality, they don’t actually get you anywhere.
They might help someone “climb the ladder,” in any respect, but these types of rewards always have a trade-off.
Choosing integrity over ego also means taking accountability for your actions, providing clarity and calmness instead of chaos and confusion, and following through with what you say you’re going to do.
Responding with Kindness
For someone in power, it may be easy to disregard someone they view as “below them.” If you have power and can do whatever you want, that means you can get away with treating people a certain way, too.
Power or no power, always choose kindness.
Kindness doesn’t change based on how much fortune or power someone may possess. It can be shared with anyone and actually requires much less effort than the alternative. Genuine kindness never gets old, and it’s never a bad idea.
Why These Are the Real Power Moves
Having kindness, showing compassion, and being patient with others—especially when you are in a position of power over them—is a very real, healthy way to feel powerful.
Being honest, acting with integrity, and being considerate of other people’s feelings is actually a great example of using your power to create, rather than tear down. Emotional maturity helps strengthen relationships, be open to new ideas, and encourage acceptance of more people overall. Someone who is unapologetically themselves, confident in who they are, and excited to share those positive feelings with people around them is the one demonstrating the real power move.
Character, being true to yourself, and alignment require work, dedication, and commitment to yourself. Building these tools requires time and conscious effort. Understanding others and being willing to be kind to them, be of service to them, and lift them up is a choice that produces a ripple effect with many positive outcomes.
Use your power to make people feel safer around you—warmer, more comfortable, and more connected.
Conclusion
Power doesn’t have to be predatory—it can be authentic, creative, and freeing for yourself and others.
Directing your power from a place of kindness is not entirely easy. It is, however, a choice.
Choosing this option is the real power move because it requires you to be bold within yourself and lead with courage rather than follow. It takes a strong person to use power for good.
Related Reads:
Make Sure They Bring Value,
Being in Alignment and Aware of Our Worth,
Understanding Emotions: The Key to Personal Growth and Healing,
Four Ways Your Confidence Can Unsettle Others
Resources If you’d like to learn more about power moves and how you might redefine them, check out these links:
- Psychology Today: How to Use Power, Influence, and Persuasion for Good
- Psychology Today: Power Moves for Decision Making
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