When Your Center Moves Back to You Eventually, there comes a point in our healing when we realize that the things happening outside of ourselves are much less important than what’s going on, on the inside. When we detach and begin focusing on our own well-being first, our center moves back to us. In my last post on healthy detachment – Healthy Detachment – What It Is (and What It Isn’t) – we explored what healthy detachment actually means and how it creates emotional space for what’s important to you. What’s interesting is what begins to change once you start putting that understanding into practice in real life. Your internal…
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The Strange Fear of Letting Go Overthinking is the worst. It takes up your time and valuable space in your mind. Sometimes we get in our heads over the most insignificant thing – and it can run away with us. What if something bad happens? What if this happens? What if that happens? If we struggle with worry and overthinking, we often resort to the worst-case scenario almost instantly. Maybe for some of us, we ruminate for days or more on the same subject. We might think about every possible outcome until we’re sure we’ve thought of everything. Being in worry makes us feel like we’re doing something. Sometimes worrying…
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The Sting Isn’t the Whole Story We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. Maybe it was the phone call that never came. Perhaps you were waiting on an opportunity that fell through. Maybe you had your sights set on a new job that would have been perfect for you – but they decided to go in a different direction. Sometimes rejection looks as simple as a quiet shift in someone’s energy. We can assign meaning to things as subtle as a quick glance. That initial feeling of abandonment hurts. But what often hurts us more – and for a longer period of time – is how we…
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There’s always something to do. There’s always somewhere to be, something that needs your attention. With busy schedules, work, school, house repairs, and other life responsibilities, there’s always the temptation to just “push through” the mental stress and keep going. You’re expected to keep going, meet your responsibilities, tend to your relationships, and improve yourself physically and mentally. That’s a lot. Don’t forget to rest. Taking time for yourself, being comfortable, and allowing your nervous system the opportunity to calm down is just as – if not more – important than getting all of those other things done. Check out Slow Down: How to Stay Present When Life is Busy …
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The Subtle Signal Most People Miss If you aren’t in tune with your body, you might miss the subtle cues it gives you. Your body tells you when it needs something; its always communicating with you. When we don’t understand ourselves well enough to recognize the signals within us, it can lead to challenges in other areas of life. Have you ever felt anxious and uncertain, only to realize you hadn’t eaten at all that day? Maybe you had a headache and then later remembered that you didn’t drink enough water. We might have days where something feels “off,” but we aren’t sure what it is. Sometimes we just accept…
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Boundaries and Real Life Practice Boundaries determine how you show up in your life. Before I even knew what boundaries were, I realized that I sort of just floated through my life and reacted to whatever felt the least threatening. I was afraid of everything, and I desperately wanted to know that I belonged to the group. In fact, I thought for the longest time that being rejected from the group was possibly the worst thing that could happen. Check out Not Everyone Is for You: Letting Go of the Need for Approval After understanding my boundaries, it’s almost become fun to think about things and what my boundaries are…
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Before getting to know myself, detachment was not something that was available to me. Realistically, detachment was something I had heard about on YouTube. I learned about the idea of it from Buddhism, but I had never felt this for myself or experienced the freedom that comes with it. It seems like the idea of detachment has several different interpretations among people. Some of us might feel uncomfortable with detachment because it means letting go. If we detach, do we not care? Does that mean we’re being cold? How will our detachment be perceived? Not to mention, detaching from someone or something also means letting go of control over the…
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I was talking with a friend the other day about how easy it is to just sit and scroll on your phone. You open it to check something, and suddenly fifteen minutes, a half hour, or more has gone by. There’s always something vying for our attention. Sometimes, we focus on whichever voice is the loudest, object is the shiniest, or gossip is the juiciest – often without even realizing it. Other times, we might be feeling insecure, anxious, or uncertain. We question ourselves or worry if we did the right thing. For some, this kind of thinking leads to ruminating and spiraling into even more self-doubt. What you focus…
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Attention is the main currency in any situation. When you’re a child, you want your caregivers to look – look at what you did, look at what you found, look at you. As you get older, attention shows up as recognition in school or sports, where suddenly everyone is looking at you. When you are acknowledged in different areas of your life, people “take a look” at your accomplishments, and for a moment, the room’s attention is on you. Of course, things happen whether we are looking at them or not – but our attention to something, often in the form of physically looking, is what gives it weight, meaning,…
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Over the years, I’ve crossed paths with people who held different levels of responsibility in their work. They weren’t celebrities or familiar names, but they were people who played roles that shaped the companies and teams around them. Some had built decades-long careers, growing with their companies one step at a time. Some folks were just stepping into larger leadership roles. What stood out to me was never quite their title – it was how they showed up, what they brought to the table, and how they made other people feel. Once, I heard a man speak just before retiring after nearly fifty years with the same company. He had…
