When it comes to relationships, humans idealize each other in more ways than one. Idealizing others and setting unrealistic expectations is practically a built-in tendency – especially in relationships, friendships, workplaces, and with public figures. It’s fueled by cognitive biases, emotional needs, and sometimes it’s just good old-fashioned wishful thinking. However, it’s not always healthy – read on for more perspective on how to stop idealizing people. Sometimes, idealizing is a survival strategy we learned in childhood. If you had caregivers who were inconsistent or unsafe, you may have idealized them to cope. Seeing them as “all good” felt safer than facing the truth. However, what helped us survive back…
-
-
Sometimes it seems that we diagnose someone else as being insecure, as if it’s a jab. Under the right circumstances our ego might take the wheel and call that other person insecure – as if by comparison, insecurity doesn’t apply to everyone. However, when we are the ones experiencing uncertainty, it’s easy to find reasons to feel worse and fall deeper into victim thinking. Let’s talk about where insecurities come from, and how to build real self-esteem. It’s important to remember that insecurity, like all other emotions, is fluid. Furthermore, everyone feels insecure from time to time. Insecurity is a learned thing, absorbed over years like secondhand smoke. And just like…
-
Falling in love with yourself is not one-time event. It’s not a grand, cinematic moment where you look in the mirror and suddenly feel like you’re enough. Real self-love is based on the ongoing relationship you have with yourself. Like any relationship, the one you have with yourself also requires time, patience, and a whole lot of emotional healing and learning. It’s messy, raw, and sometimes it feels like everything is in the way of you and the love you could have for yourself. Read more for some perspective on how to fall in love with yourself. What It Really Means to Love Yourself If you don’t already, getting to…
-
I never allowed myself to feel anger until I was about twenty-five. Of course, I got angry, I felt full of rage at times – but I never allowed myself to be consciously aware of my anger. If I happened to get angry, I would just wait for that emotion to fade and distract myself with something else. I repressed my anger for a very long time, until I eventually realized what I was doing. I had no idea that understanding and healing anger was so important. I acted this way as a result of my conditioning; it was easier for certain caregivers and authority figures in my life to…
-
If you want something in your life, you have to become it first. If you crave love, you must become love. What does that love look like? How does it act? How does it feel to have that love you’re currently craving? If you need guidance, you must guide yourself. Read books, listen to podcasts, learn what you need to learn. Give yourself encouragement. If you desire strength, you must build it within. You can create the life you want, if you just show up for yourself. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. The outside world is only ever a reflection of what’s happening inside you. And when you stop looking…
-
Gratitude isn’t just something you practice when you’re reminded, or when something good happens. It’s more than a fleeting moment of appreciation – it’s a way of life. Gratitude shapes your life when it is the lens through which you see the world. It becomes the energy you bring to every conversation, challenge, and interaction. When you practice gratitude consistently, everything you look at changes. How Practicing Gratitude Changes You The beauty of gratitude is that it rewires your brain, shifting you from a mindset of lack, to one of abundance. Instead of waiting for things to make you happy, you realize that you already have everything you need to…
-
There are a lot of efforts being made on behalf of the beauty industry to be more inclusive and accepting of people’s differences. The problem is that even still, you may be bombarded with varying messages that make it hard to love and accept your body. Those messages tell you your body must to look a certain way to be worthy, to be loved, to belong. What doesn’t belong is the belief that you are somehow less because you don’t fit into an impossible mold that was never designed for you in the first place. However, you are not here to shrink yourself. You are not here to fit into…
-
Travel isn’t just about seeing beautiful places or snapping photos for your Instagram. Sure, sipping espresso in Paris or chasing sunsets in Bali holds their own value, but travel is far more profound. You see how travel transforms you when you step outside of your comfort zone, get uncomfortable, and realize how much bigger, wilder, and richer life is beyond the small world you’ve built for yourself. The moment you step into a new place – where the language is different, the streets are unfamiliar, and you don’t have the comfort of routine – you meet a new version of yourself. One that’s curious. One that’s adaptable. One that realizes…
-
Ever notice how easy it is to show respect to others, yet when it comes to ourselves, we’re often the first to dismiss, criticize, or downright betray our own needs? I’ve certainly been there. The thing is, self-respect is the foundation of everything – confidence, strong relationships, peace of mind. When you respect yourself, you stop settling, you stop apologizing for existing, and you start owning your worth. But what does respect actually mean? Let’s take a look. What is Respect? Respect is about much more than social etiquette or being polite. It’s about recognizing someone’s worth (including your own), honoring boundaries, and treating people -including yourself- with dignity. It’s…
-
On our journey to find our most authentic selves, we will likely come across others who may have varying ways of responding to us. As you grow, and learn and move closer to who you really are, there are some people in your life who may show resistance to those changes. In this post, we discuss how to tell if someone is jealous of you and six ways to identify envy in others. As you increase your respect for yourself, you may allow less disrespect from others. Comments, looks, reactions that you once allowed or even accepted, may no longer be able to exist around you. As you continue to…
