Let’s talk about cultivating courage. Not the movie kind with explosions and last-minute rescues. Not the kind reserved for warriors, ninjas, or people who eat raw onions on purpose. I want to talk about the everyday kind – the courage it takes to simply be human in this world. Courage, at its heart, is not about fearlessness, it’s about showing up even when fear is present. It’s about speaking up, even when your voice shakes. Being courageous is about making a choice that aligns with your values, even when it’s inconvenient. Courage is not the absence of fear; it’s the decision that something else matters more. And you, my dear…
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I’ve talked to a lot of people who would consider themselves ‘people-pleasers’. If you can relate, you might already know that it’s exhausting, lonely and never ending. People-pleasing is deeper than the desire for attention or approval, the desire to people-please is a message that there are parts of you that need to heal. For many of us, constantly tending to other people’s emotions, and keeping tabs on how they feel is a deeply ingrained survival mechanism – something we learned early on in life to stay safe, feel enough, or avoid rejection. More often than not, this pattern stems all the way back to childhood experiences of trauma and emotional…
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People-pleasers are often described as “nice”. Beyond nice, however, people-pleasers are sensitive, emotionally attuned and often deeply empathetic. The problem occurs when empathy becomes your way of survival; when you unconsciously believe that other people’s comfort is more important than your truth – it gradually depletes your self-worth. People-pleasing is a survival strategy, and we do it out of fear – fear of disappointing others, fear of abandonment. Fear that if we don’t make other people happy; we aren’t lovable. The Unseen Burden of Pleasing If you were conditioned to view approval as the same as love, you likely learned that disappointing someone meant you would lose connection. In the…
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Emotions are an essential part of the human experience, in fact, it’s our emotions that make us human. We feel our feelings all throughout the day, but how often do we really take time to understand what we’re feeling and why? Most of us have been conditioned to categorize emotions as “good” or “bad,” but the reality is, emotions are far too complicated and nuanced to use such a binary approach. Moving beyond the “good” vs. “bad” emotional framework allows you to better identify and understand your emotions, and get to know yourself in the process. In this post, we’ll explore how to let go of the judgements you make…
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We live out certain patterns in our lives, and sometimes we aren’t even aware that it’s happening. These are repeated behaviors we have been acting out for a very long time, and yet we have no conscious awareness of them. Being a people-pleaser is a manifestation of one of those patterns. On the outside, it can look like simply being helpful, offering a friendly smile or giving of your time to those who need it. However, on a deeper level, it can stem from fear, a desire to be enough, and a belief that our worth is dependent on how others perceive us. Let’s talk about the connection between people-pleasing…
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People give their power away in so many areas of their lives, and sometimes they don’t even realize it’s happening. We seek validation from external sources like our partners, bosses, social circles, and even social media. From the car we drive to the vacations we take, especially in the photo proof for our social pages, our sense of self-worth can be tied to the things that we own and how many people approve of us. Now, however, we’re going to take a different approach – it’s time to stop abandoning yourself and reclaim your power. After all of the work and anxiety that goes into getting this sought after validation,…
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We grow up conditioned to believe that we need to be liked by the people around us. Society tells us – sometimes gently, sometimes not – that universal approval is the goal. We’re taught to please, to perform, to soften our edges in exchange for acceptance. We are never taught how to deal with, let alone be okay with rejection. In this post, we discuss a little bit about how to deal with rejection. From school hallways to social media feeds, the message is clear: being liked means you’re safe, valued, and worthy. But let’s zoom out for a second. Does that really make any sense? There are over 8…
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Difficulties and challenges are inevitable parts of life. Your response to them, however; a secure, resilience mindset – can have a direct impact on your outcome. People who develop emotional resilience are better able to navigate life’s setbacks, and often come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and more empowered. You might not even be fully aware of how resilient you already are. Resilience often shows up as subtle determination – the ability to keep going when everything around you feels uncertain. It’s not about being untouched by hardship; it’s about how you respond, adapt, and grow because of it. That’s personal growth. That’s the heart of emotional resilience.…
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How you care for yourself is a reflection of how you feel about yourself, and the two go hand in hand. Part of loving yourself and building your self-esteem is taking care of your physical self. Think of your body as a precious gift that you are responsible for taking care of. Be open to listening to your body; it will tell you what it needs every time. If you are really listening, you can be there for yourself and ensure your needs are met. Prioritizing yourself is a great way to increase your self-esteem. This simple act builds self-love. It shows you that you are important and your needs…
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When it comes to relationships, humans idealize each other in more ways than one. Idealizing others and setting unrealistic expectations is practically a built-in tendency – especially in relationships, friendships, workplaces, and with public figures. It’s fueled by cognitive biases, emotional needs, and sometimes it’s just good old-fashioned wishful thinking. However, it’s not always healthy – read on for more perspective on how to stop idealizing people. Sometimes, idealizing is a survival strategy we learned in childhood. If you had caregivers who were inconsistent or unsafe, you may have idealized them to cope. Seeing them as “all good” felt safer than facing the truth. However, what helped us survive back…
