We live out certain patterns in our lives, and sometimes we aren’t even aware that it’s happening. These are repeated behaviors we have been acting out for a very long time, and yet we have no conscious awareness of them. Being a people-pleaser is a manifestation of one of those patterns. On the outside, it can look like simply being helpful, offering a friendly smile or giving of your time to those who need it. However, on a deeper level, it can stem from fear, a desire to be enough, and a belief that our worth is dependent on how others perceive us. Let’s talk about the connection between people-pleasing…
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People give their power away in so many areas of their lives, and sometimes they don’t even realize it’s happening. We seek validation from external sources like our partners, bosses, social circles, and even social media. From the car we drive to the vacations we take, especially in the photo proof for our social pages, our sense of self-worth can be tied to the things that we own and how many people approve of us. Now, however, we’re going to take a different approach – it’s time to stop abandoning yourself and reclaim your power. After all of the work and anxiety that goes into getting this sought after validation,…
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We grow up conditioned to believe that we need to be liked by the people around us. Society tells us – sometimes gently, sometimes not – that universal approval is the goal. We’re taught to please, to perform, to soften our edges in exchange for acceptance. We are never taught how to deal with, let alone be okay with rejection. In this post, we discuss a little bit about how to deal with rejection. From school hallways to social media feeds, the message is clear: being liked means you’re safe, valued, and worthy. But let’s zoom out for a second. Does that really make any sense? There are over 8…
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Difficulties and challenges are inevitable parts of life. Your response to them, however; a secure, resilience mindset – can have a direct impact on your outcome. People who develop emotional resilience are better able to navigate life’s setbacks, and often come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and more empowered. You might not even be fully aware of how resilient you already are. Resilience often shows up as subtle determination – the ability to keep going when everything around you feels uncertain. It’s not about being untouched by hardship; it’s about how you respond, adapt, and grow because of it. That’s personal growth. That’s the heart of emotional resilience.…
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How you care for yourself is a reflection of how you feel about yourself, and the two go hand in hand. Part of loving yourself and building your self-esteem is taking care of your physical self. Think of your body as a precious gift that you are responsible for taking care of. Be open to listening to your body; it will tell you what it needs every time. If you are really listening, you can be there for yourself and ensure your needs are met. Prioritizing yourself is a great way to increase your self-esteem. This simple act builds self-love. It shows you that you are important and your needs…
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When it comes to relationships, humans idealize each other in more ways than one. Idealizing others and setting unrealistic expectations is practically a built-in tendency – especially in relationships, friendships, workplaces, and with public figures. It’s fueled by cognitive biases, emotional needs, and sometimes it’s just good old-fashioned wishful thinking. However, it’s not always healthy – read on for more perspective on how to stop idealizing people. Sometimes, idealizing is a survival strategy we learned in childhood. If you had caregivers who were inconsistent or unsafe, you may have idealized them to cope. Seeing them as “all good” felt safer than facing the truth. However, what helped us survive back…
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Sometimes it seems that we diagnose someone else as being insecure, as if it’s a jab. Under the right circumstances our ego might take the wheel and call that other person insecure – as if by comparison, insecurity doesn’t apply to everyone. However, when we are the ones experiencing uncertainty, it’s easy to find reasons to feel worse and fall deeper into victim thinking. Let’s talk about where insecurities come from, and how to build real self-esteem. It’s important to remember that insecurity, like all other emotions, is fluid. Furthermore, everyone feels insecure from time to time. Insecurity is a learned thing, absorbed over years like secondhand smoke. And just like…
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Falling in love with yourself is not one-time event. It’s not a grand, cinematic moment where you look in the mirror and suddenly feel like you’re enough. Real self-love is based on the ongoing relationship you have with yourself. Like any relationship, the one you have with yourself also requires time, patience, and a whole lot of emotional healing and learning. It’s messy, raw, and sometimes it feels like everything is in the way of you and the love you could have for yourself. Read more for some perspective on how to fall in love with yourself. What It Really Means to Love Yourself If you don’t already, getting to…
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I never allowed myself to feel anger until I was about twenty-five. Of course, I got angry, I felt full of rage at times – but I never allowed myself to be consciously aware of my anger. If I happened to get angry, I would just wait for that emotion to fade and distract myself with something else. I repressed my anger for a very long time, until I eventually realized what I was doing. I had no idea that understanding and healing anger was so important. I acted this way as a result of my conditioning; it was easier for certain caregivers and authority figures in my life to…
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If you want something in your life, you have to become it first. If you crave love, you must become love. What does that love look like? How does it act? How does it feel to have that love you’re currently craving? If you need guidance, you must guide yourself. Read books, listen to podcasts, learn what you need to learn. Give yourself encouragement. If you desire strength, you must build it within. You can create the life you want, if you just show up for yourself. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. The outside world is only ever a reflection of what’s happening inside you. And when you stop looking…
