The Moment After Curiosity So here we are. We have recognized that something feels off and explored the facts with curiosity. Now it’s time to be honest with ourselves. Here, we’ve reached the Truth step of the RETURN Method. Being honest with ourselves about our own truth and our own responsibility is a natural next step. This type of honesty is very direct. It doesn’t need to be harsh or scary. Acknowledging a truth that you might not like doesn’t have to be a confrontation. We can consider it to be data that we use moving forward. Honesty is stabilizing. It’s not something that needs to be avoided. Being honest…
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Boundaries and Real Life Practice Boundaries are about how you live your life. It’s a true statement. Before I even knew what boundaries were, I realized that I sort of just floated through my life and reacted to whatever felt the least threatening. I was afraid of everything, and I desperately wanted to know that I belonged to the group. In fact, I thought for the longest time that being rejected from the group was possibly the worst thing that could happen. Check out Not Everyone Is for You: Letting Go of the Need for Approval After understanding my boundaries, it’s almost become fun to think about things and what…
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When was the last time you were upset about something? Maybe you had a fight with a friend or colleague. Maybe you had a breakup, or someone slighted you in public. Whatever the case may be, it’s likely that there have been times in your life where someone hurt you – and you had to move on. Moving on from conflict can be difficult, especially when there’s a lot of emotional charge attached to it. The end of a long-term romantic relationship, the betrayal of what was once a strong friendship, or misunderstandings with a family member can all leave lasting effects. Feelings of anger, injustice, shame, embarrassment – or…
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Everyone craves validation. People want to feel like they matter – that they’re important, attractive, successful, and ultimately acceptable to the group. Validation, whether it comes from within or from others, mirrors our emotions and inner world. It helps us know that we’re okay. You can think of validation as emotional feedback. When we’re infants, we look into our caregivers’ eyes for confirmation that we’re safe and that we matter. As we grow, the smile a parent gives us when we seek reassurance, the friend who listens when we need to talk, or the encouragement from a teacher when we’re struggling – all of these are forms of reassurance. They’re…
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I was with a couple of friends recently. They were talking about some home renovations they were making, when one asked the other, “What if so-and-so moved in next to you?”. Without missing a beat, my friend replied, “I would move.” They both laughed at the idea, and then the one responded with, “Wow, they have a lot of power over you.” I thought about that quite a bit. What does it mean to let someone have power over you? I’ve actually heard that phrase all throughout my life. From middle school, to college and even in my adult life. Some advice that’s been consistently given to me is “don’t…
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When I was in sixth grade, I was bullied pretty severely. It happened on a daily basis, and it eroded everything about my self-esteem. My bully was an eleven-year-old boy who called me names and encouraged the other kids to taunt me. Many of them would join in. At that time, I didn’t know what to do or what to say, so I did my best to ignore it. By ignoring it, however, that meant he got away with more and more. This went on for the whole school year and eventually became normalized by the kids in my class. I don’t remember most of what was said, but I…
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So many of us feel like we should be going to the gym. Maybe we want to go, maybe we have health goals – but simply getting started can be tough. Our fitness journey, like any other, will have ups and downs. That’s normal. What’s more important is our mindset behind exercise, and the awareness of how we want to show up for ourselves. Personally, I exercise not just for my body, but for my mind – probably 90% of the reason I move my body is for my mental health. Whether it’s yoga, Pilates, lifting weights, swimming, or even walking, movement helps regulate my nervous system, ease anxiety, and…
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Everyone wants to feel more confident. We want to speak up, show up, and carry ourselves like we belong—because the reality is, we do. However, if you’ve ever felt like confidence is something other people just have and you somehow missed the memo, this post is for you. Confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you actively and consciously build for yourself. Like any other emotion, confidence is fluid; it can be high one day and low the next. However you find it, confidence something you can learn, shape, and choose for yourself at any time. In this post, we’ll discuss how being ready helps build real confidence. One of…
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We grow up conditioned to believe that we need to be liked by the people around us. Society tells us – sometimes gently, sometimes not – that universal approval is the goal. We’re taught to please, to perform, to soften our edges in exchange for acceptance. We are never taught how to deal with, let alone be okay with rejection. In this post, we discuss a little bit about how to deal with rejection. From school hallways to social media feeds, the message is clear: being liked means you’re safe, valued, and worthy. But let’s zoom out for a second. Does that really make any sense? There are over 8…
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Difficulties and challenges are inevitable parts of life. Your response to them, however; a secure, resilience mindset – can have a direct impact on your outcome. People who develop emotional resilience are better able to navigate life’s setbacks, and often come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and more empowered. You might not even be fully aware of how resilient you already are. Resilience often shows up as subtle determination – the ability to keep going when everything around you feels uncertain. It’s not about being untouched by hardship; it’s about how you respond, adapt, and grow because of it. That’s personal growth. That’s the heart of emotional resilience.…
