When You Ask Everyone Else What to Do Have you ever asked so many people for advice that you ended up feeling further away from the answer than when you started? When I was growing up, I doubted myself quite a bit. Whenever it came to making a decision, or feeling at peace with a decision I had made – I would become anxious and fearful. Rather than taking a moment to pause and tune in with myself, I would immediately ask those around me for their opinion. I wanted to get validation for my actions from external sources, thinking maybe they knew something (about my situation) or that I…
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The Feeling of Being Behind There seems to be a lot of talk around being behind in life. A lot of us feel like we should be in a different place in life, other than where we are right now. Have you ever felt like you should have your career figured out by now? Maybe you thought you’d own a home, or be married, or have children by now. It’s easy to compare ourselves to what others present to the world and perhaps doubt ourselves and our timing. We might judge ourselves and feel we should be making more money, or have everything all figured out. If you can relate…
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We all want to be accepted by the group, included, and made to feel like we matter. It’s part of our evolution; at one point not being accepted by the group meant you lost safety and would likely get eaten by something. Now, the consequences aren’t so dire, but we still want to be accepted. It seems like sometimes there’s almost an unspoken idea that the more liked you are, the more value you have. For those of us who learned to attune to others early, or learned connection through caretaking, being liked by the group may feel specifically important. We may expect approval as a necessity. Check out Stop…
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I’ve talked to a lot of people who would consider themselves ‘people-pleasers’. If you can relate, you might already know that it’s exhausting, lonely and never ending. People-pleasing is deeper than the desire for attention or approval, the desire to people-please is a message that there are parts of you that need to heal. For many of us, constantly tending to other people’s emotions, and keeping tabs on how they feel is a deeply ingrained survival mechanism. We learned this early on in life to stay safe, feel enough, or avoid rejection. More often than not, this pattern stems all the way back to childhood experiences of trauma and emotional…
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How do you normally react when someone tries to push your buttons? Do you immediately feel your heart rate increase and roll up your sleeves? Or, do you take a moment to pause, and think about how you would like to respond? What if you withdrew your energy altogether and chose to be unbothered? Today, we are going to discuss healthy detachment. You can think of this in action, as pulling your energy back from a person or situation. No big exit, no heads up – just quietly reclaiming your power. We’ll also talk about what happens on the other side of that energetic shift. Does the other person feel…
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There are so many things we do all the time – simply out of obligation. We might feel pressured by societal norms, our friends’ opinions, or the expectations of family. We might be afraid of doing something “wrong,” hurting someone’s feelings, or inconveniencing them. Sometimes it feels like there’s no other choice – like one way is the “right” way – or we want to maintain a certain outward appearance. Other times, we feel obligated because we were told to, or we never stopped to question how we actually felt. When we act in a way that is better for someone else, than for our own wellbeing, we risk making…
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Communication is one of the most important skills you can build. It’s worth improving every single day. Healthy, effective communication promotes self-advocacy, helps you create healthier relationships, avoid miscommunications, and move through life with more clarity and ease. If you are working towards growth and healing, it’s important to be able to name your feelings, so that you can sit with them and learn more about what they are trying to tell you. Of course, this isn’t the only thing that we do, after we know how we feel, how do we as for what we want? Communication isn’t just something that happens with other people, it also happens within…
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When it comes to relationships, humans idealize each other in more ways than one. Idealizing others and setting unrealistic expectations is practically a built-in tendency – especially in relationships, friendships, workplaces, and with public figures. It’s fueled by cognitive biases, emotional needs, and sometimes it’s just good old-fashioned wishful thinking. However, it’s not always healthy – read on for more perspective on how to stop idealizing people. Sometimes, idealizing is a survival strategy we learned in childhood. If you had caregivers who were inconsistent or unsafe, you may have idealized them to cope. Seeing them as “all good” felt safer than facing the truth. However, what helped us survive back…
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Travel isn’t just about seeing beautiful places or snapping photos for your Instagram. Sure, sipping espresso in Paris or chasing sunsets in Bali holds their own value, but travel is far more profound. You see how travel transforms you when you step outside of your comfort zone, get uncomfortable, and realize how much bigger, wilder, and richer life is beyond the small world you’ve built for yourself. The moment you step into a new place – where the language is different, the streets are unfamiliar, and you don’t have the comfort of routine – you meet a new version of yourself. One that’s curious. One that’s adaptable. One that realizes…
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What happens when you attach yourself to your thoughts? They run wild and drag you behind them. Without a strong grip on your thoughts, you’re more reactive, leaving you vulnerable to emotional turbulence. Understanding emotions leads to mental and emotional clarity, it can help avoid pain – either by way of getting hurt or hurting others. Emotions left unchecked can wreak havoc in your life. In this blog post, we’ll explore: What Are Emotions? First, let’s start with defining emotions. Emotions are the physical response your body has to a thought. They serve as important signals, alerting you to underlying thoughts, beliefs, or needs. Emotions are trying to tell you…
