A Lesson in Self-Esteem: How You Care for Yourself is Important
How you care for yourself is a reflection of how you feel about yourself, and the two go hand in hand.
Part of loving yourself and building your self-esteem is taking care of your physical self. Think of your body as a precious gift that you are responsible for taking care of. Be open to listening to your body; it will tell you what it needs every time. If you are lovingly listening, you can be there for yourself and ensure your needs are met. Prioritizing yourself is a great way to increase your self-esteem. This simple act builds self-love. It shows you that you are important and your needs matter.
There are other ways that how we care for ourselves reflects our level of self-esteem. From basic hygiene, to boundaries and self talk – these are things that show us what we feel we deserve. Keep in mind that we aren’t talking about confidence here, we are talking about consistently prioritizing your well-being because you recognize your own value.
Below are a few ideas for you to consider about how the way you care for yourself reflects your level of self-esteem.
Your Actions Reflect What You Believe About Yourself
Self-esteem isn’t something we just talk about, it can be seen in the action we take. We demonstrate how we feel about ourselves through our behavior. If you are constantly putting others’ needs ahead of your own, that sends a message to your subconscious that you are less important. If you don’t rest when your body needs rest, if you choose to eat any food, rather than choosing food that is nutritious and appropriate for your body, you may have the subconscious belief that your well-being is not a priority.
Maybe we were never taught to prioritize these things for ourselves, or at some point we in fact learned not to prioritize ourselves, but now – you can make that choice.
Below are some other ways that show how we care for ourselves reflects our self-esteem:
Self-Talk: How You Speak to Yourself Shapes Your Self-Esteem
How do you talk to yourself? In my own experience, it is easy to be mean to yourself.
Do you look in the mirror and criticize what you see? Do you zoom in on areas that you perceive need to be different? Do you build yourself up, or tear yourself down?
Negative self-talk erodes self-esteem. What is your internal dialogue like?
When you make a mistake, don’t tear yourself down for it. We all make mistakes, no one expects you to be perfect. If something doesn’t go your way or you feel upset – don’t attack yourself.
Reframe those thoughts in your mind. Instead of, “I’m so stupid” try being a little nicer “I’m so silly”. Instead of “I’m such a failure”, try “I am learning and growing every day”.
Next time you talk to yourself, just notice when you say things that aren’t very nice. Little by little, question that inner critic and set the intention to be kinder with the things you say to yourself.
Boundaries are a Direct Reflection of Self-Esteem
People with healthy self-esteem set and enforce boundaries because they value themselves.
Boundaries are one of the clearest indicators of self-esteem because they show that you honor your own needs, energy, and well-being rather than sacrificing them to please others.
People with low self-esteem often struggle with boundaries because they fear rejection, conflict, or being seen as “difficult.” However, in reality, healthy boundaries are a sign of self-respect – they communicate to yourself and others that your time, energy, and emotional health matter.
If you don’t want to go, don’t go.
If you want to say yes, then say yes – and if you want to say no, say no.
It’s about a mindset of honoring your needs and feelings, and doing so unapologetically.
Self-Care as Self-Respect
How you care for yourself sends a message to your subconscious about what you believe you deserve. Treat yourself like you’re someone who matters. Really take a moment and consciously make the decision to care about yourself as someone who matters, and deserves to be cared for.
When you take the time to make sure your shirt is in place, or that your hair is brushed, or that you pee when you have to go pee – it’s these small habits that reinforce positive self-esteem.
Your Environment Reflects Your Self-Perception
Our surroundings influence our mood, mindset, and even self-esteem. When we feel overwhelmed, stressed, or unworthy, that can manifest in disorganization, clutter, or neglecting our personal spaces. On the flip side, when we feel calm, confident, and in control, we tend to maintain an environment that reflects that sense of self-respect.
A cluttered, chaotic space may indicate a lack of mental clarity or feeling emotionally scattered. If your space is filled with unfinished projects, piles of laundry, or stacks of paper, it might be a sign that you’re neglecting your own needs or struggling with decision-making.
A neglected space (dusty, unkempt, or filled with broken/unused things) can signal self-neglect, reflecting a belief that you don’t deserve a beautiful or functional environment.
A well-maintained space isn’t about perfection – it’s about creating a space that nurtures and supports you, reinforcing the idea that you are worthy of peace, order, and comfort.
Your Relationships and Your Self-Esteem
This is such an important concept because the people we surround ourselves with often reflect how we see ourselves. If we have low self-esteem, we may unknowingly accept relationships that reinforce those feelings of unworthiness. On the other hand, when we value ourselves, we naturally attract and maintain relationships that respect and uplift us.
We teach others how to treat us by what we tolerate. If we allow constant disrespect, neglect, or emotional unavailability, it often signals to our subconscious (and to others) that we don’t believe we deserve better.
This is a blog post on it’s own, but it’s worth mentioning here also: seeking validation vs. genuine connection. Notice the distinction here, because seeking validation and building genuine connections come from two very different places—one is rooted in insecurity, the other in self-worth. When self-esteem is low, we might cling to relationships that make us feel “chosen” rather than truly valued. This can show up as:
- Staying in friendships/partnerships where you feel used, unseen, or are constantly trying to prove your worth.
- Accepting bread crumbs of attention rather than full, reciprocal love.
- Fearing abandonment so much that you tolerate mistreatment.
Healthy relationships reflect healthy self-worth. When we respect ourselves, we naturally set higher standards for how we allow others to treat us.
It’s the Little Things
In sum, be present – listen to your body. Your body is always communicating with you and will let you know exactly what it needs. Don’t be afraid to prioritize your needs or say ‘no’ when you need to. Small actions, mindset shifts and choices all add up to a greater level of self-esteem and are the building blocks to creating the life you want.
Related Reads: Respect Yourself: The Key to Confidence, Boundaries, and a Life You Love,
Embracing Authenticity: Why Being True to Yourself Matters, Understanding Emotions: The Key to Personal Growth and Healing
Resources If you’d like to learn more about self-esteem and self-care, check out these links:
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