People want certainty. It’s human to want to label and compartmentalize things in our minds so we can feel safe. If we meet someone new, we might call them a friend. Upon trying a new restaurant, we decide if we like it or not. When we go to a new place, we’ll find ways to describe it in relation to places we’ve been. A lot of times, when we make a new decision or feel a new pull, we tend to rush to define it.
Whether we’re taking up a new hobby or meeting a potential partner, it’s easy to want to label and categorize our experience quickly. The thing we may not realize, however, is that those labels come with their own meaning and expectations.
Sometimes we confuse our curiosity with lifelong commitment. In this post, we’re going to look at ways we might confuse one emotion for another and consider the idea of simply exploring our options. When you choose to make a change in your life, don’t rush to have all the answers at once. What if you allowed your options to be open-ended? What if you just allowed yourself to explore something new?
Examples of Labeling Too Soon (Instead of Just Exploring):
We can jump to conclusions about anything. You can put a premature label on just about any experience or idea. What’s important is that we take notice of when we are doing these things. I can definitely get carried away when I’m excited about something and rush to label it as quickly as I can.
Below are some examples you may have thought to yourself at some point. They’re followed by questions to ask yourself as you explore. Remember to be open and curious about what you’re noticing. Don’t judge yourself or talk yourself out of your new idea—just see what else you can do with it.
- “I’m starting a business,” when maybe you’re just experimenting with a craft or hobby you love.
If you love your new hobby, keep at it. Learn more and look for ways to enjoy your newfound interest, aside from turning it into a business. If you truly feel it has business potential—learn about business next and decide how you feel after that. - “I’m going to write a book,” when maybe you just want to express something that’s been living inside you. How much do you write currently? Is this a new hobby that you are picking up?
If you feel like you have something to say, try journaling. Write every day. Write short stories, or an autobiography. Look at it from all angles. - “I’m going vegan, keto, or doing Whole30,” when maybe your body is just asking for a little more attention or nourishment. Maybe you’re feeling insecure about your weight. Maybe what you really want is to move your body more.
What do you ultimately want here? Do you want to lose weight, feel better about how you look, or specifically eat this way?
Or maybe you’re craving more control in your life. Is something else stressing you out or making you feel a lack of control? - “I think I’m falling in love,” when maybe you’re just feeling deeply connected or seen for the first time in a while.
Sometimes we think we’re falling in love when we’re actually in love with how we feel around someone. We can confuse being excited about ourselves with being in love with someone else. - “I should move to a new city,” when maybe you’re simply yearning for change, novelty, or freedom. Would you like to travel more? Have you tried taking a few vacations to explore new places? Do you know what it would be like to live in a new city? Think about it—the possibilities are endless.
- “I’m going to quit my job, go back to school,” when maybe you just need to reconnect with purpose before making a leap. How are you feeling about your purpose right now? What is your connection with yourself like? Why do you want to go back to school? What do you hope this next step will give you?
- “This person is the one,” when maybe they’re just helping you reconnect with a part of yourself you thought you lost. Much like feeling like you’re falling in love—ask yourself who you are around this person, separate from who they are. That boundary can blur quickly. Maybe they are the one, and maybe there’s more to it.
- “I need to reinvent myself,” when maybe you’re simply evolving—and don’t need to burn it all down to begin again. Do you really want to reinvent yourself? What parts of yourself would you like to change or improve upon?
What does reinvention look like for you? Also, are you giving yourself enough credit? Maybe you are great the way you are, and can just make some adjustments instead of starting over.
Be aware that things you enjoy casually are different when they become obligations. Things are more interesting when you’re doing them because you want to—not because you have to.
To be clear, what I want you to do here is notice when you jump to label something. Then, just ask yourself questions about it. There may be some elements here of devil’s advocate, some out of the box thinking and a lot of open mindedness. These questions aren’t meant to doubt your ability to act on these decisions, they’re meant to help you be sure of your decisions.
It’s okay to fall in love with something new and just enjoy it—without assigning meaning.
Try Being Open – There’s More to Learn
Sometimes we’re just excited, sometimes we are looking for a distraction. Maybe we feel like we are meant for more but aren’t sure how to go about finding what that is. While I can’t tell you the best route for you to take, what I can tell you is that you’re free to explore.
Open your mind. Be curious, ask questions, and be open for other opportunities to present themselves to you.
What if you didn’t need to call it anything yet?
What if it’s just something you’re drawn to, and that’s enough for now?
We learn as we go, that’s how it works. By jumping to conclusions too soon, you are closing yourself off to what you could have learned. When you are close minded, you learn your lesson in hindsight – but if you’re open, you can learn what you need as you need it.
Slow down. Stay open. Trust that exploration is meaningful, even without labeling it.
Maybe Your Curiosity is Just Beginning
There is a lot of power in being able to accurately express what it is you’re feeling. To decipher the difference for yourself and state “I am interested in this thing” versus “I am going to become this thing” gives you room to see where it goes. You’re creating space for yourself to learn more, and then decide how you feel.
If you simply have an interest in literature, for instance, that’s not a commitment – you can change your mind at any time. However, if you announce you’re going to become a novelist, you might inadvertently apply pressure before you’re ready.
Let the beginning be about wonder, not mastery. Allow yourself to explore without making it something permanent. Be open to the idea that what you’re doing now could just be a stepping stone for something else. You can always change your mind.
You Can Change Your Mind
It’s okay to pivot. If you change your mind, you’re not flaky or lost—you’re allowed to evolve. Many times, the clarity you’re looking for comes from doing, not thinking. Giving yourself permission to begin without knowing where you’ll end is an example of grace.
Give yourself grace to learn new things and change your mind about them. Be with the uncertainty and accept it as part of the process. The fact that you’re listening to your desires is already a good sign that you’re on the right track.
In Conclusion
Give yourself permission to evolve and don’t forget to have fun learning new things as your life unfolds.
How do you figure out what you want?
You get curious, take pressure off yourself and you open your mind. If you are open to it, opportunities will present themselves to you. You might notice new things that are interesting to you. Trust that everything works out in your favor.
You can’t force yourself to find an answer, you must allow it.
Related Reads:
Let People Show You Who They Are,
Slow Down: How to Stay Present When Life is Busy,
Everyone Has Something to Teach Us
Resources If you’d like to learn more about being open-minded and exploring further, check out these links:
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