Attention is the main currency in any situation. When you’re a child, you want your caregivers to look – look at what you did, look at what you found, look at you. As you get older, attention shows up as recognition in school or sports, where suddenly everyone is looking at you. When you are acknowledged in different areas of your life, people “take a look” at your accomplishments, and for a moment, the room’s attention is on you. Of course, things happen whether we are looking at them or not – but our attention to something, often in the form of physically looking, is what gives it weight, meaning,…
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Generally speaking, most people only ever think of a power move within the context of aggression or manipulation. In discussion, these moves are usually referenced when someone asserts dominance or control at the expense of someone else. In fact, this might be the only context where the term “power move” comes up. But—what if we chose to use our power to help people? To lift others up rather than push them down to “assert dominance”? The reality is, you can be more powerful than someone, and that standing never actually needs to be acknowledged. What if we thought of power moves differently? The Traditional View of “Power Moves” In my…
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Over the years, I’ve crossed paths with people who held different levels of responsibility in their work. They weren’t celebrities or familiar names, but they were people who played roles that shaped the companies and teams around them. Some had built decades-long careers, growing with their companies one step at a time. Some folks were just stepping into larger leadership roles. What stood out to me was never quite their title – it was how they showed up, what they brought to the table, and how they made other people feel. Once, I heard a man speak just before retiring after nearly fifty years with the same company. He had…
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When I first started talking with my therapist, one of the things he told me to look out for were patterns- patterns in myself and even patterns that I would notice in others. It wasn’t long before I noticed times where I would always respond one way or never do something in a specific situation. Sometimes, for instance, if I had any perceived rejection, I would resort to negative, unhelpful thoughts that might have served me at one time but don’t any longer. I would meet feelings of sadness and unworthiness and buckle in for a spiral through negative thoughts that I had as far back as childhood. Moments like…
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I used to have a neighbor who was challenging to live next to. She would desperately seek attention from most people around her – including the neighbors – in very overt and obnoxious ways. I’m not sure why she behaved this way; I never actually talked to her about it. I eventually moved because it was best for my peace – all of that stimulus was aimed at me as well.While I was living next to her, I went through a series of emotions: annoyance, confusion, anger, rage – and eventually, understanding and neutrality. She would play her music loud for the entire courtyard to hear, put her things on…
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I love plants; my living room is kind of a jungle, and I will find any reason to take a trip to the nursery. I’ve talked to a lot of people who feel like they can’t keep plants alive. Sometimes it can be intimidating, and some plants are easier to care for than others. While I’m no expert and have unfortunately killed my fair share of plants, what I’ve learned the most is that if you just provide the right conditions for your plant – it will do the rest. When you know the plant you’re working with, and you know what it needs, all you have to do is…
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The longest and most important relationship you will ever have – is the one you have with yourself. We often prioritize our relationships with others – a romantic partner, our family, or our friend groups. We care deeply about how we’re perceived and received by others, yet we rarely stop to think about how we feel about ourselves. Some of us outsource our validation – our acceptance and sense of safety – to those around us. We decide how we feel about ourselves based on how others feel about us. While being open to feedback is wise and helpful during reflection, it can’t be the sole source of our well-being.…
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When you think about going to a therapist, at least on a broad spectrum, the question ‘how does that make you feel?‘ might come up for you at some point. Albeit a little stereotypical, it’s a really powerful question. Asking yourself how you feel is essentially what happens when you tune in. When you pause and check in with yourself, you see how you’re feeling in the moment – with the goal of responding appropriately and consciously. This question helps you to know how to tune in to your emotions for personal growth. “How do you feel?” may be the most important question you ask yourself. Knowing how you feel…
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When was the last time you were upset about something? Maybe you had a fight with a friend or colleague. Maybe you had a breakup, or someone slighted you in public. Whatever the case may be, it’s likely that there have been times in your life where someone hurt you – and you had to move on. Moving on from conflict can be difficult, especially when there’s a lot of emotional charge attached to it. The end of a long-term romantic relationship, the betrayal of what was once a strong friendship, or misunderstandings with a family member can all leave lasting effects. Feelings of anger, injustice, shame, embarrassment – or…
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The universe communicates with me all the time. Sometimes in “mysterious ways,” sometimes in ways that are so direct it’s undeniable. Synchronicities show up, such as numbers on a clock, the perfect lyrics in a song, or even through conversations with others. We can always learn and grow and expand – even in moments when someone directs a throwaway comment our way. Sometimes what feels meaningless to one person can drastically impact another’s life. Maybe our higher power speaks to us in all kinds of ways – if we only listen. There are messages in times that are happy and growth-filled, and other times, when we feel lonely and unseen.…
