From an early age, we are taught that the way people view us is important. Being around other kids is when we first learn that how we are perceived often influences how others treat us. Some of us may have even received direct messages from parents or caregivers that image matters. While those messages aren’t necessarily wrong, the nuance often gets lost in translation. When you receive messages of external validation as a child – or at a time when independent thought isn’t fully developed – your self-image can become skewed. We might place too much emphasis on the opinions of others. Having a clean reputation and a good public…
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People want certainty. It’s human to want to label and compartmentalize things in our minds so we can feel safe. If we meet someone new, we might call them a friend. Upon trying a new restaurant, we decide if we like it or not. When we go to a new place, we’ll find ways to describe it in relation to places we’ve been. A lot of times, when we make a new decision or feel a new pull, we tend to rush to define it. Whether we’re taking up a new hobby or meeting a potential partner, it’s easy to want to label and categorize our experience quickly. The thing…
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Jealousy is a powerful emotion. I think it’s something we all feel, but it’s not something we talk about very much. No one is ever proud to announce that they’re jealous of someone else. After all, jealousy usually stems from a sense of lack and fear, so it also reveals other insecurities. Depending on your level of self-awareness or the image that you maintain, that’s not really a good look. If you’ve ever felt jealous and yucky about it – or perhaps you struggle with jealousy – this post might provide you with a little perspective. What if you could simply choose a new alternative to this seemingly all-consuming emotion?…
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How do I discern whether someone belongs in my life? Who you let into your life is important. We might not always realize it right away, but the people we allow ourselves to be around influence us – sometimes more than we know. As humans, we can’t help but learn from each other. That’s why being mindful about who gets access to your energy isn’t just a nice idea – it’s necessary. Being discerning with my time and energy is something I’ve been actively working on. This post is a reflection on the importance of being choosy about who you share your time with – whether it’s a romantic partner,…
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There is always so much going on; most of us have a running to-do list that is a mile long. We’ve got deadlines to meet, errands to run, and don’t forget to clean the house because we’ve got company coming tomorrow. Of course, tending to our responsibilities is important. That also means that sometimes in life we have to sacrifice certain things to ensure that our responsibilities are met first. However, there’s something that you should consider when you think about how busy you are, and how you’re rushing around to get things done. Remember to take a break, remember to be present. Be conscious of how you use your…
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If you survived high school, chances are you know about mean girl behavior. You may have had your own mean girl, or you may have been one yourself. These women are difficult, to say the least – manipulative, cold, cruel. And they aren’t only found in high‑school hallways; the mean girl can also show up in adulthood. Unfortunately, people don’t always “grow out” of it. We all know that one woman who can dole out a solid back‑handed compliment or shower you with micro‑aggressions. But what actually is a mean girl? What makes her so mean, and how do we handle being around her without losing our peace? What Is…
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How many people do we meet over the course of our lives? Sometimes those people are with us throughout our whole lives, and sometimes they are only with us for the short term. However long the stay, everyone has something to teach us. The goal for this post is to remind folks to consider the greater good of their life journey when someone in their life chooses to exit. I tend to look at the end of a relationship as the end of a life lesson; what has that person taught me? Different people are meant to show you certain things. Someone who oversteps your boundaries may be teaching you…
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When you stop seeking approval, some people may become uncomfortable around you. The impact that how you feel about yourself has on others is very real. You start living more authentically, standing tall in your truth and being who you are, you might find that people seem different. Maybe someone who once seemed supportive pulls away, becomes critical, or even passive-aggressive. When you stand firm in who you are, you learn that confidence can unsettle others around you. This isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing, although it might sting a little – especially if you aren’t expecting it. You might even feel tempted to make yourself smaller, or revert…
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I feel like this saying is everywhere: Protect your energy. It’s become a kind of modern mantra – a shorthand for emotional self-care. Whether you’re navigating toxic work environments, draining relationships, or trying to avoid burnout, the idea of protecting your energy offers a sense of empowerment. It’s a way to reclaim your peace, and – there’s more to it than that. I mentioned the phrase “protect your energy” to my therapist once. In response, he paused and asked, “What would happen if, instead of using the word protect, you used the word curious?” It was a subtle shift – but one I’ve referenced ever since. What if protecting your…
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This morning, I was talking to my therapist about why I keep giving myself excuses for not starting my blog. He pointed out that it’s my programming – those old beliefs and fears – that are stopping me from taking that step. Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, and the thought that someone might not like what I write are all powerful forces that hold me back, just a few of the things I will talk about on my journey of self-discovery. One vivid thought that kept creeping into my mind was imagining my mom, all sweet in her little-old-lady housecoat, doing an innocent Google search of my name. The…
