Attention is the main currency in any situation. When you’re a child, you want your caregivers to look – look at what you did, look at what you found, look at you. As you get older, attention shows up as recognition in school or sports, where suddenly everyone is looking at you. When you are acknowledged in different areas of your life, people “take a look” at your accomplishments, and for a moment, the room’s attention is on you. Of course, things happen whether we are looking at them or not – but our attention to something, often in the form of physically looking, is what gives it weight, meaning,…
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I love plants; my living room is kind of a jungle, and I will find any reason to take a trip to the nursery. I’ve talked to a lot of people who feel like they can’t keep plants alive. Sometimes it can be intimidating, and some plants are easier to care for than others. While I’m no expert and have unfortunately killed my fair share of plants, what I’ve learned the most is that if you just provide the right conditions for your plant – it will do the rest. When you know the plant you’re working with, and you know what it needs, all you have to do is…
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The longest and most important relationship you will ever have – is the one you have with yourself. We often prioritize our relationships with others – a romantic partner, our family, or our friend groups. We care deeply about how we’re perceived and received by others, yet we rarely stop to think about how we feel about ourselves. Some of us outsource our validation – our acceptance and sense of safety – to those around us. We decide how we feel about ourselves based on how others feel about us. While being open to feedback is wise and helpful during reflection, it can’t be the sole source of our well-being.…
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When was the last time you were upset about something? Maybe you had a fight with a friend or colleague. Maybe you had a breakup, or someone slighted you in public. Whatever the case may be, it’s likely that there have been times in your life where someone hurt you – and you had to move on. Moving on from conflict can be difficult, especially when there’s a lot of emotional charge attached to it. The end of a long-term romantic relationship, the betrayal of what was once a strong friendship, or misunderstandings with a family member can all leave lasting effects. Feelings of anger, injustice, shame, embarrassment – or…
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Have you ever been in a group setting, and everyone is chatting, and the atmosphere is light – and then enter that one person who just can’t read a room? This person stands out like a sore thumb, energetically. They are up when everyone else is down, down when everyone else is up. Bringing up a conversation that ended, not that long ago – with the same content. Typically this person makes the air a little awkward, or otherwise uncomfortable for everyone around. It’s almost as if you want to get their attention and say something like “Hey! Look around!” because nothing they’re doing or saying is in alignment with…
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What Are Boundaries and Standards? For some of us, the concept of boundaries and standards might be a confusing topic. Some folks might be unsure of their boundaries, they might not know how to set them. They might not even really be clear on what their boundaries and standards are. Boundaries are more than just what someone is comfortable with. You can think of boundaries in the same way you think about the fence around a yard, the moat around a castle, and the walls of your home. Boundaries define what’s yours – they are the point where you end and someone else begins. Our boundaries protect our energy, they…
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Sometimes people just start talking – sharing their stories, their worries, their problems. While it’s wonderful that others may feel safe and comfortable enough with you to open up, these conversations can sometimes feel uncomfortable or even unwarranted. Have you ever found yourself listening out of obligation as someone tells you about their challenges? I’ve had strangers share details about their health issues, their children’s life choices, or regrets that have weighed on them over time. It’s easy to stay in these interactions to avoid seeming rude – but what can moments like these teach us? In conversations like these, I often find myself nodding along in acknowledgment. But nodding…
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Everyone craves validation. People want to feel like they matter – that they’re important, attractive, successful, and ultimately acceptable to the group. Validation, whether it comes from within or from others, mirrors our emotions and inner world. It helps us know that we’re okay. You can think of validation as emotional feedback. When we’re infants, we look into our caregivers’ eyes for confirmation that we’re safe and that we matter. As we grow, the smile a parent gives us when we seek reassurance, the friend who listens when we need to talk, or the encouragement from a teacher when we’re struggling – all of these are forms of reassurance. They’re…
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When you look at a situation, ask yourself – how would I like to respond?When you give yourself even a brief moment to tune in to how you’re actually feeling, you create space – and in that space, you gain choice. In this post, I want to talk about embracing things as they happen – as a way of choosing empowerment, quieting fear, and moving more smoothly from one part of your journey to another. Life will always hand us the unexpected – delays, detours, moments that don’t go according to plan. But when you lean into those moments with grace and faith in yourself, your entire experience begins to…
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I was once told that people come into your life as you need them, and they exit your life as you don’t. When we talk about friendship, it’s usually framed as something that should last a lifetime – but rarely do we acknowledge the seasons that come with it. In most cases, forever isn’t how it goes. Throughout my life, I have made and lost many friends. Some I thought would be there for the long haul; others left over the smallest details. Often, I found myself wondering why it happened, feeling sad, internalizing their actions, and holding onto bitterness for a while. As life would have it, friends don’t…
